Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Finally Closure



Well, Moffits Cancer Center in Tampa and Dr. Trotti and his team are taking over my treatment. We will hope we get some money back from the last radiologist. I start
over in Tampa this Wedenesday. Wednesday I will have a new mask made in what they call simulation. Then a week to a week and a half later, I will start six weeks of
treatment. Then six to seven weeks later, I will have a CT check. Then I am done. No more tests. Not sure why that is. But I don't care. And I trust this center as much as I can trust any medical staff at this stage. My whole treatment has gotten so messed up. I should have stayed with Tampa in the beginning and I would be long finished with this by now. I have to blame my radiologist a bit in Gainesville because she tried to push me through at a time when she must have known she was having health problems. She almost managed. But because she was not truthful with me, and it caused her to drop my treatment, I am grateful that I am now under the care of Dr. Trotti. It will be inconvenient because I will be staying in Tampa during the week days. But then, I would have been driving back and forth to Gainesville for the other treatment so it is all relevant. I will probably not be updating this until sometime in April. I have been doing art again. It is a stress release for me to concentrate of something other than this. Here is a pastel I did of my grandson. And a cardinal I photographed.

Monday, January 26, 2009

I have lost trust.

I have lost all trust in my radiologist here in Gainesville. She lied to me, she lied to my husband. I have faxed all reports to Dr. Trotti in Tampa at Moffits. I am in no hurry now to jump if she says jump. I have jumped through enough hoops
for her. My last Ct scan came back clear and clean a week ago Friday. If she had been honest with me, always told me the truth. Then I would go ahead this week. But she did not. So, she can wait now while I get my trust back and get to the bottom of this.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The Way We Were


This is an email I sent to a friends mixed race granddaughter in England. She was writing a paper on Barack Obama. You can imagine the excitement she feels being a mixed race child growing up in England and seeing a black man take office in America.
So I call this. The Way we Were. I had six campaign buttons. I have given two to a friend in Canada, one to a friend in Holland, one to a stranger I met going door to door, and two to my friend in England. I have kept the last one, the one we all got at the last campaign meeting after the election. Here is my story of growing up white in America in the 1950's.


Well, I was raised in Miami in the 1950's. We had segregated schools, bathrooms, water fountains. And all blacks lived in one neighborhood off US. 1. Now blacks
live in all neighborhoods, schools are integrated, public restrooms. When I was small I would sit in the back of the bus with black people. I don't know why. My mother
doesn't know why. She said they would put money in my hand because I was a cute little redhead. I just know I felt more welcomed back there.

When I was growing up, the only black person I knew was my Aunt Lois's maid. And she became like one of our family. I still remember her name, Essie May,
and her whole family was like part of our family. Even after my Aunt Lois passed away my Uncle Richard kept Essie May. She is probably gone now.

When I was about 18, I worked in a shopping Mall in a cafeteria. At lunch I would sit in the green-way on a bench. A black college student who was a music major
and worked in the music store would sit and eat next to me. We became friends. He called my house and wanted to go out with me. I told him because of my
father being born in the South, that I could never go on a date with him. Finally his mother called and said, "Why don't you want to go out with my boy? He is a good
boy. " I said, "Because I am afraid my Father would hurt him." Those were the times I lived in.

My children always grew up with black and white friends from grade school up. My sons all had best friends who were black.

I was on Barack Obama's volunteer campaign. I had never done anything political in my life. It was not that he was black. It was his voice and his
vision. I believed him. He seemed to make me believe we could change our path and turn this country around. I never in my life thought that he
would get elected. I never even thought he would get the nomination and beat Hilary Clinton.

When Obama came to Jacksonville for a Rally I went with three friends to hear him talk. I had never done any of this before. And he brought so
many black, asians,white,young and old together. I met a black neighbor through him. He brought so many of us together with one common goal. To
change this country to one we can be proud of. To hear him speak in Jacksonville, Florida was something I will never forget. And to hear the thousands
of people cheering of all races was a very moving experience. He will be one of the best presidents we have ever had.

Candace Pfau

Monday, January 19, 2009

Boy have I been AWOL from this Blog


Well, I have my apple laptop. I love it. The video cam is awesome. I have already
connected with a friend in Holland on it. The quality is the best I have ever seen.
I had my mask made for my radiation treatment. I took an xanax before the making of the mask because it was very claustrophobic. On Thursday I get some sort of evaluation setup. Then I start radiation. I just hope the six weeks go fast. Would you all like to know what 35 radiation treatments cost if you have no insurance to knock it down. 180,000 dollars. Our cost after insurance is 4 to 5,000 dollars. Is
that insane. It's insane. To get well. What if we had no insurance. I am sick just
thinking about the state of our health care system.

I took some photographs today of these gold colored birds. They don't look like goldfinches. My daughter and grandson have moved here from Missouri. Before this cold weather moved in, I took them to Flagler Beach. The day was so gorgeous. Now
we are having two cold fronts in a row. But I like cold weather. I want to take him
to La Chua trail and show him the alligators. Here is my apple. And here is a link to my beach photographs.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/66013135@N00/3186038925/

And here is my apple laptop.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Apple Apple Apple Apple

One of my Christmas presents is late. It is on it's way fedex. An apple laptop.
Here it is. http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2332519,00.asp It is so pretty.
My only wish is that I could afford the 15 inch screen but I am happy with this.

Also here is the video of my electronic hasbro doggie. Cute, cute, cute. He is also interactive when not attached to your stereo. Not much else new. Still waiting for the doctor to tell me the results of my second biopsy. Until then, no treatment plan.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Felicity decked out for Christmas


We have our sister and brother in law for Christmas. I am tired already from cooking. I think it will be take away (as the Brit's say) pizza for dinner tonight and a big Uno card game. My son sent me a new photograph of the grandbaby. She is sooo cute.
I wish I lived closer. I went shopping and decided to buy my husband things I wanted for Christmas. Ha Ha Ha. The best of both worlds. I found the cutest funniest little dog that dances to your cd music. I can't wait to try him out. Maybe I will take a video of him dancing to Pinks cd. Ha. Everyone have a safe and happy Christmas and New Year's Eve.

Saturday, December 20, 2008





This will be my last post until after Christmas. I have finished the mailing and buying for grandkids and children. But only have one thing for my poor husband, socks and slippers. Sigh. He is very hard to buy for. And he does not give me any idea's or hints. So, enjoy Tiny. And here is a new photo of my grandbaby, Felicity. She can smile now.