Monk and a new Cake

There is a special holiday Monk edition on right now on USA. I just made the most sinful, delicious cake I have ever eaten. And I have had one tiny piece but I just might have to snitch another tiny piece. I don't want to get a sugar overload after I have been so careful to keep
my sugar level. So, maybe I won't have another piece. I can show you a picture of it. And here is the recipe.

Strawberry Cake

1 package white cake mix
1 small package strawberry jello
2 Tablespoons flour
1/2 cup cooking oil
1 cup milk
4 eggs
1/2 cup frozen mushed strawberries

Mix cake mix, jello and flour. Add cooking oil and milk...mix well...Add eggs 1 at a time, mix well. add mushed berries....Use 2 pans--spray with pam --the one with oil and flour,,,,cook 20 minutes at 325 degrees....i think it takes longer to bake, so test with a knife....i thnk it will take at least 30 minutes....

Frosting
Mix 1 box powdered sugar and 1 stick butter...i usually add some of the mushed berries to make the frosting less thick---but sometimes i put too much, so just add 1-2 tablespoons at a time....

I did not write that. I copied it off a blog. And the cake takes way more than thirty minutes. I think I had to cook it for almost 40 minutes. Just kept checking with a toothpick and it kept coming out sticky. But the cake is delicious. So, good.

Not much new. Have another scan to do on Tuesday, the pet scan that looks in your whole body.
And an appointment for my second opinion up at Moffits in Tampa. Then I will start whatever treatment all these experts decide. I seem to not be losing any more weight. I am getting my hair cut because all this long hair is making my face look even thinner. So, I will leave you with a new picture of my grandbaby and a strawberry cake.

Oh, and this story made me cry. http://www.gerrycharlottephelps.com/2008/11/freedom-and-jeff.html?referer=sphere_search

Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

There is no Desperate Housewives on tonight. I don't if the music awards or the special 24 hours took it over. I neeeeed........ some Desperate Housewives right now.
I just got that new movie Wall-E about the little robot. I think I am going to watch it. I just don't feel like watching music awards. And "24" is my husbands show. I swear that show has been gone so long, I thought they canceled. Doesn't it seem like
shows have shorter seasons, and they they are gone so long that you began to forget
the whole story line. They don't seem to do that to this stupid reality shows. The only one I like is Super Nanny and maybe that tear jerker where they build someone a house. Actually my house kind of looks like the kind of house that needs help. ROFL.
And I surely need help. Real help. I am watching this dumb movie on ENT called The Dog Problem. And it has this little kid (he is a man but looks like kid) Giovanni
Ribisi who I first saw on Friends, he played Phoebe's brother Frank Jr. who she had the twins for. He is just cute.
I try and find things on television to totally absorb my mind so I can't think. Thinking right now is bad for me. Thinking leads to worry, worry leads to stress. And things I cannot control right now. Like my ribs are hurting and I immediately think, oh, its cancer. Cancer everywhere. Must stop doing that. So mindless television is good for me. I find old comedy reruns the best. Like Alf and Two and a Half Men, and King Of Queens. Things that made me laugh really hard.
No news to tell. See the dentist on Tuesday to fill a tooth. Then a week from Tuesday I have a Pet scan. I have heavy duty drug to take right before that. In fact, I was looking at the arsenal of drugs I do have. Sadly the Lexpro made me sick to my stomach and short of breath. So, he will have to find something else and for stress I am back to the Ativan. Very addictive. Like I am worried at this point. Ok, back to my movie.

So yesterday

I met Lucio Gordon an oncologist. Very cute too I might add from Brazil. Talked to his physician assistant who knows even more than he about treatments. Told her I would never need feedings if I had to pour things down my throat. Got more prescriptions for anxiety meds. I could open a pharmacy. Gave six vials of blood. Mine is sluggish and sticky. Debating (not me, they) the Pt scan as my nodes are clear. They think it would probably turn up nothing. Still, my radiologist wants it. Got something to calm me if I do get the Pet scan, or is it Pt scan. Gordon has no real treatment. if it were in my nodes then chemo. There is a new (no statistics) drug, not chemo but with also horrendous side effects. Who cares if it is 2 percent. Called Erbitux.
safety profile.
Serious allergic reactions have occured in 3% of 1373 patients. trouble breathing, wheezing, low blood pressure,itching, loss of consciousness, and or heart attack.
Injury to the heart. occurred in 4 of 208 patients with head and neck cancer treated with radiation and erbitux, as compared to none of 222 patients treated with radiation alone.
Injury to the lungs. lung disease which can cause death
The effectiveness and safety of this regimen has not been established.
Also it makes radiation burn more. (and that is a good thing?)

All this just to add 5 percent to your 85 percent.

I THINK NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, I need an Ativan. Bye Next step, dental work and a bigger opinion at a huge cancer center. And I was told to eat, eat, eat, eat. Eat anything I want. They like radiation patients starting treatment to be fat. How wonderful. Clog my arteries after I worked so hard to improve them.

CT scan results show no more cancer in the neck

BUT....................


Today the oncologist radiologist Ralph and I met with told us there was nothing more seen on the CT scan.The lymph nodes show nothing. No new places But she wants a Pet or PT scan done to see if there are any hot spots or any cellular activity anywhere in my body. Ralph and I are a bit uneasy of that. She said all the large cancer clinics are doing them now, it is not a standard request from most radiologist. But it gives her a full body base to work from. I didn't ask what would happen if she found anything anywhere else in my body. It cost way more than the CT scan and we don't even know yet if our insurance would cover it. And it takes 60 minutes for the dye to get throughout the body. And then I have to be in the machine a whole 30 minutes without moving. I am dreading it if we go through with it.

The bad news is that for this type and because it might have been there, a few years, due to the one behind my tonsil was not visible. She recommends 4 to 6 weeks of twice a day low dose radiation. So, even after all the good news, it is still more stress. Without treatment even given they see nothing else, the survival rate is five years. With I guess you might call it killing any unseen microscopic cancer cells, you get a lot longer survival rate. I guess because these are located in a bad place. And cancer so often survives at in the teeniest places, and then resurfaces years later. We are drained. But Ralph asked a lot of questions. I cried a lot. She gave me a prescription for ativan for anxiety which I am having a lot of.

Plus I have to get my teeth completey ok'd tomorrow if we do want to go ahead with the radiation treatment. Because you cannot have any gum disease or rotten teeth before the treatment or it can cause complications in the mouth.

So, it was good news, which still sounds a bit bad
Also she is encouraging us to get a second opinion at any large cancer center we pick. She gave us names at Moffit in Tampa, an oncologist there. (these are famous cancer centers who are doing the latest thing but even after we got an evaluation or second opinion there, this still might be the best treatment.) The radiation side effects say dry mouth, loss of taste, sore throat and skin irritation, like a very bad sunburn leaving you with probably a tan like skin. That will take quite a while to fade.

This is all I know for now.
Love, Me

My CT/contrast scan was easy

Had my CT scan done last Wednesday. Now I have to wait until this Wednesday when I see this radiologist to find out what the scan showed. This not knowing is killing me.
And I am too scared to call. Trying to think positive but ever since hearing the squamous diagnosis, I just have not been feeling well. I have a cough now which I never had before the surgery. Cancer is such a horrible beast. You have to be really strong to fight that fear. I hope I can make the right decisions. My husband is not helping at all. It's like nothing happened. He just goes to work, comes home, and on and on. Doesn't talk about it. Maybe he just can't handle it. I don't know.
My son sent me a new photo of the grandbaby. So, I will leave you with that picture.
She is so adorable. I think I'm in love.

Some Bad News

Well, my biopsy of the growths removed from my throat came back Squamous cancer. So, today I am getting a CT/contrast scan to see if there are any more. Or if my lymph nodes were involved. Life can be unfair sometimes. But there is still joy. Like a new grandbaby. And she is adorable. So, we have to take the good with the bad.
Depending on what the scan says, I might try and get a referral to a cancer center in Houston, Tx. I will try and keep this place updated. Later.

Amen America The Beautiful