The First Day and Then Some

We have Daffodils blooming

2012-01-26T13:23:00.000-08:00

This week we seem to be having spring weather. And my daffodils are opening up. But Sunday it is going
to go back down to 20 degree's at night. No snow. But very cold. Crazy winter. Must be global warming. I am very disappointed that Obama is supporting Fracking. I will not be voting for him. For anybody else who runs against him. Fracking is drilling into shale under great pressure, using toxic chemicals to get the
gas out of the shale. It is harmful to the environment. And time will show that. But all they care about is money and jobs.

This morning I had a pack of hunting beagles running through my yard. They came up from the woods behind me and slipped through a hole in my wire fence in the back. Then they came up to the front of the house and got a scent and pushed under my chain link fence and bent it back. Next time this happens I am keeping one of his dogs. I need another dog and I like beagles. We are finally going to get a new well. We have been living off the new schools well next door. But they are finally done with their Geo Thermal well drilling so they can come over and dig us a new well (for free) Since they not only owe us for the well they blew up, but also for the thousand dollars we put into the well before they blew it up. I was reading about chickens. I want chickens soooo much. I would like Orphingtons. They are white and gentle. Well, they are cream colored with bright red heads. But then I got to reading about lice, and mites and avian flu. And I got a bit scared. And it said to have a disinfectant foot bath in front of the chicken yard or house. I guess to keep from tracking any asian flu germs. I don't know. But I still want chickens so much. Spring is coming I can feel it. Have a daffodil.

Nothing New But Cold and Rain......

2012-01-19T13:38:00.000-08:00

Well, I did get my broken molar looked at today and xrayed. That was a load off my mind. On Monday I have to go back and get an impression down, and a temporary crown. I was just eating an egg sandwich. Nothing hard at all. It's very upsetting when something crunchy like a rock shows up in your mouth. I am lucky I did not swallow the piece of my tooth.
There has been no more snow. And I am very disappointed. Plus the temperatures have been below freezing at night for weeks. Every night I have to cover up all the daffodils. There must be over 100 of them. I cover them with mulch and leaves very lightly. Then uncover them. Then cover them back up at night. Spring....... please get here. I want to see flowers. Damn it. If I can't be buried in snow then I want
winter to go away. Tiny just wants cold, no rain, and no snow. He is not a fan of either. I need to find him some doggies shoes. Or a big dog that he can piggyback ride on.

we have had some spectacular sunsets. And some very foggy sunrises. Some mornings you can't tell the clouds from the mountains. Some mornings you can't see out the back door. The fog comes right up to the door. It was a nice drive to Cherokee today where I found a dentist. Too bad I did not have time to go gamble at their casino. Even though I never win. And even though we don't even get to hear the

real jingle of money. I hated the day they went to the little printouts and insert cards. Just fill up your card with money. Funny money. Cash in when you're done. Noooooo Give me the buckets and the quarters and nickels. I want those back. I want to hear the, ding ding ding ding ding ding of money falling. Its like music. Ok. This is all I got. I am really sick of winter. I'm sick of waking up with my throat glued shut because the heat ran so much and my mouth and throat dried out. I must get a humidifier. I keep telling my husband. We have an electric blanket. We can turn down or almost shut off the heat at night. Just keep it up enough to keep the pipes from freezing. I would rather be a bit cold in the night and be able to swallow when I wake up in the morning. Maybe I should spend winters in Florida. Just ignore the cemetery photo. I happen to like cemeteries and this one is nearby down the road.

Yes, it finally Snowed.

2012-01-08T06:36:00.000-08:00

I would say we got about half an inch of snow. Covered everything. The dog hated it. That is because he is so low to the ground. Plus his feet got frozen. He is too fat and I have not found a sweater for a small dog that fits him. He is small but fat. He is a mini dachshund and only supposed to be up to ten pounds. Well, he is fifteen pounds. Lugging him up our hill has gotten harder.

At first I kept covering up the daffodils that were stupidly trying to bloom in Jan. But that meant when the sun came out and it warmed up that I had to remember to uncover them. A friend who knows more about bulbs and such said, "Just let them be." So, bloom, don't bloom. I don't care. Get frozen by the snow. We had an unseasonable warm up. Up to 65 the other day. Unheard of in January in the mountains. So, of course the daffodil buds are getting yellow and bigger. But now we have a 30 percent chance of snow showers Wednesday night. Now, I love snow. Snow falling during the daytime. Graceful floating snowflakes. I don't like blowing sideways snow that falls after dark. So far that is the only kind I have seen here. And I can't even use my toboggan yet. But, I did almost ice skate on a sheet of black ice. That was kind of fun. It is looking like the old guy who lived here, planted daffodils all over the entire garden. I have to be careful where I step, they are coming up everywhere. Well, not on the path. Just in the circle garden, around the crepe myrtle, along the side walk in the planters. Unless the snow ruins them. They might just get to bloom before Wednesday. I am rethinking ordering my Orpington chickens. Not because I don't want them. I do. And I want goats and a beehive. But then I will be tied down. I mean, you have to be home if you have chickens, goats and bee's. Well, maybe not bee's. A friend's son up here raises bee's. I must get with him. I really want to be a bee keeper. My lawyer in Florida put in a beehive and he told me his crops in his garden doubled in size. On a sad note. A piece of my back molar broke off yesterday. I was just eating a regular egg sandwich for breakfast. Nothing particularly hard. Welcome to old age. So, a few pics of the snow. And yesterday we had a rainbow when it warmed up. And we had rain instead of snow.

Spring is coming early.

2011-12-30T11:29:00.000-08:00

Next week it will go down to 12 degree's. But I just found bulbs coming up around the house and in the garden behind the fish pond. Of course, we just bought this house in July so I have no idea what these are or why they are trying to come up. It was 25 degree's last night. Not the time of year for flowers. I guess
they might be crocus? My husband took our motor home in to be winterized today because it was costing us a fortune in propane to keep the water pipes from freezing here. In Florida we did not have to worry about that as much. I walked around the yard trying to take some photographs of the birds here. Things

seem different here in winter from Florida. In Florida I had dense woods. Here I have hedges, woods at the bottom of our hill. But in Florida I lived in the woods itself so I had huge flocks of birds. I miss that here. I see bluejays and red cardinals but they do not seem to come to the feeder. All I get are chickadee, titmice, these rosy finches and a few sparrows. We do have bluebirds around but they do not come to feeders. We have not had any snowfall at all and my dear husband is depressed over that. He said he came here for snow and now it does not snow. He bought a toboggan and all. This is all the news. Here are a few photographs from around the yard. Enjoy.

Christmas is Over

2011-12-27T14:11:00.000-08:00

And I feel a sense of relief. For me it is a lot of anxious shopping, cooking. The Christmas I would like to have will never happen. Because for that to happen my husband would have to agree and share in my desires. I would have liked to serve in a Soup Kitchen on Christmas Day. Or cooked and invited a lot of single, elderly or homeless people to dinner. And to adopt a family having a hard time and buy presents and food for their holiday. One year a neighbor and I adopted a family through social services. We bought for the entire family and besides toys and clothes included a grocery gift certificate for turkey etc. It was the best Christmas I have ever remembered. The true idea of Christmas. Instead we have our 3 year old

grandchild who gets so many toys, twice being the only child of a divorced couple. And a very spoiled granddaughter who travels far just to get the best and most expensive presents. That is not really Christmas. Christmas is in giving of yourself. Not just material things. No snow. Today rain and maybe ice by tonight. Not the nicest winter thus far. Tiny certainly enjoyed his two Christmas presents. I have a toboggan ready for sledding for Tiny and me. Bring on the snow.

ps a bit of a repair

2011-12-20T17:09:00.001-08:00

That link would not work. Lets try this.

http://theamybrenneman.com/notebook/

I found a lovely celebrity blog. It is so real and special.

2011-12-20T17:08:00.000-08:00

http://theamybrenneman.com/notebook/ I found a lovely Celebrity blog. Visit her. She is great!

And also look at the website. It is beautiful with a sort of indian spiritual kalideoscope motiff. We have had cold rainy drizzle and temperatures around 40. Is that not the worst weather. Cold, I don't mind. Snow I don't mind. But rain and cold. brrr... Or cold and sleet. Ugh. There will be no white Christmas here in Franklin so say the weathermen. But on the worst day of the year. I will go and look at this sunrise photograph my husband took here in the backyard one morning. And I will remember, after winter comes spring. The tree is decorated. We have a few gifts. My husband bought me a new purple martin house to go on our pole. I cannot wait until March to put it up. I also have two new movies to watch on Christmas Day. The last Harry Potter movie and The Help. (a book I read and loved) My little dachshund is soooo funny. I can't leave his two presents wrapped under the tree because he would just open them or worse, hide them. So since he can't seem to find anything under the tree he thinks is his. He stole my husbands ear muffs from under the tree because they are not wrapped. And they are furry. and of course all his dog toys are furry. It was hell getting it away from him. He turns into a hell dog guarding his prey. He has also taken to sitting on top of the wrapped present which my cousin sent me. Its soft. He thinks its a dog toy but its a nightgown. lol. You just have to love Tiny. Merry Christmas ♥

It's Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas

2011-12-14T17:54:00.000-08:00

But some snow would be nice. We finally got a Christmas tree. Tiny sits under it. He thinks he is
outside. Hoping he does not lift his leg on it. Wishing we could be with our kids this Christmas. My husband does not really like to drive on the holidays and the kids do not have anymore time off from work.
For Christmas I have a new purple martin bird house. It is a triple decker one. When we bought our house
it came with a purple martin bird house and tall telescoping pole. But the house was falling apart. So Tractor Supply had their martin houses on sale. I cannot wait to put it up. But the birds won't be around
until about March. No leaves left on the tree's. We had a very light light few snow flurries one night.
But it did not even put any white on the ground. I want Tiny to see snow falling. Big snow flakes.
No one ever comments on my blog anymore. Maybe I will quit writing it. I need to think up a surprise
for my husband's Christmas present. I hate that he has no surprises. He loves surprises. But I am not
very good and shopping for them. I get all anxious and end up buying shirts or pajamas. I just cannot
pick out good gifts. Some people have the knack. For one thing, my husband does not read, his only
hobbies are geared around anything new in electronics. Like, how many gadgets can you buy. How many zip drives does he need. I can't afford huge big screen televisions. He does not like video games.

I think I have bought him every tool known to man. I am running out of idea's. Tiny will have two presents under the tree. But he can smell them right through the christmas wrapping so his presents will have to be put away until the day of. Right now Tiny is guarding our lighted snowmen. He thinks they are a stuffed animal. He is a very strange dachshund. Later people. Or not. so quiet in here lately. Here is our lovely treetop.

Fall came and went. Winter hung on. BRRRRR.....

2011-12-02T08:22:00.000-08:00

"You're so Vain. You probably think this song is about you." Sorry that's playing on my computer and now I have it stuck in my head. I love Carly Simon. Why are all my favorite singers aging out. Oh, that's right I'm aging out. Aging out. Know who put that term in my head. Well, I have this huge blue spruce that I love. It started getting some brown needles in the center. There is a forest ranger down the road. So I stopped in there. And he came down to look at my spruce. Guess what? He said, "This tree is aging out. It's going to have a case of the uglies. Best thing to do is just rip it out." What!!!!!!!??? I thanked him kindly and then forgot about it. Rip out my beautiful blue spruce cause it's aging out. I don't think so.

So, the leaves changed color. We were down in Florida taking care of doctor checkups and moving the last of our furniture for middle two weeks of October. We missed the best leaves up in Asheville. But there was still some color left here in Franklin. I love Fall up North. Nothing like it. Florida just does not have the seasons. Of course now we are freezing. But I love that too. We got our propane tank and bought an extra gas heater. Between our gas logs in the fireplace and the gas heater on the sunroom. It is now toasty warm in this house. Except for our bedroom. It faces the front of the road, North exposure and it never warms up in there. (I could go r-rated with that statement but not going to) So, we bought an electric blanket for the bed. Dual controls. Love it. Why did I wait so long to try electric blankets. Oh, that's right. I lived in Florida for most of my 65 years. Well, there were jaunts in Texas, North Carolina and Ohio. But I guess now, you could say more of my years have been lived in Florida. At least the last 23. And the first 21. Wow, I never thought about it like that. Moving or transfering a lot as we did for his job was not easy on children growing up. Oh well, water under the bridge. Can't go back and change it. We are still waiting for the contractors over at the school to dig us a new well. That's because they blew up our well with their geo thermal drilling. And if they put cracks in any of our foundation they are going to fix that too. A friend told me that Petchickens.com is taking orders for chicks now. She said I better get my order in quick. They go fast. These would be delivered in the spring. I don't even have my chicken coop yet. I better read up on chickens. I don't know enough about them. When you can put them in a coop or outside. Maybe at three months? Here are a few Fall photographs before all the leaves fell.

Best quote ever

2011-10-21T10:52:00.000-07:00

"HERES TO THE CRAZY ONES, THE MISFITS,THE REBELS, THE TROUBLEMAKERS,THE ROUND
PEGS IN THE SQUARE HOLES,THE ONES WHO SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY. THEY'RE NOT FOND OF RULES,
YOU CAN QUOTE THEM,DISAGREE WITH THEM,GLORIFY OR VILIFY THEM,BUT THE ONLY THING YOU CAN'T DO
IS IGNORE THEM BECAUSE THEY CHANGE THINGS. THEY PUSH THE HUMAN RACE FORWARD,AND WHILE SOME
MAY SEE THEM AS THE CRAZY ONES, WE SEE GENIUS. BECAUSE THE ONES WHO ARE CRAZY ENOUGH TO THINK
THEY CAN CHANGE THE WORLD, ARE THE ONES WHO DO." STEVE JACOBS

Packing Packing Packing

2011-10-08T07:59:00.000-07:00

How do we ever accumulate so much junk? We are down in Florida packing as much as we can to have moved back to our new house. Cleaning out closets and drawers. Yikes. And right now we are in the middle of a Nor Easter storm. Code for NINE inches of rain non-stop. I hope this winter goes fast. And I sure hope I get back up North in time to see my leaves change in my yard. Wow, the wind is really blowing outside. I had to clean out my fish pond. The pump had stopped. It was clogged with algae. I wish someone would buy my place in Florida who loves birds and goldfish and ponds. I worry so much about my yard down here. It looked so neglected. I went to a high school reunion up in Franklin, NC. At least three of my old classmates from Miami live there. I guess if you grow up in heat, you want cool mountain air when you get old. If you grow up in New York, you want Miami heat. lol. I will have to make this short. We don't have reliable internet down here. Later. When I get back home. Wherever that is.

2011-09-24T13:28:00.000-07:00

This is entire post is dedicated to Maude. She knows who she is.

I was never a follower in school. And for that I am grateful. Because there were so many friends I might have missed if I belonged to the cheerleader, football, click crowd. I had one friend who sat out in the breezeway and played his guitar between class changes. I had another friend who was going to be an entreprener. He is a millionaire now. He was a late bloomer and married late in life. I was very shy. My mother put me in modeling class to try and bring me out. That just taught me how to apply makeup but did nothing for my social life. If anything, taking modeling then labeled me as a snob somehow. I have no idea how. Then after graduation my parents sent me to Paris France for a year
to help out my Uncles huge family of four kids. That was probably the best experience of my life. It opened up other cultures and the world for me. If any teenagers are reading this. And if they don't fit
in with any groups. Have faith. Be proud that you are not a lemming following the crowd. My favorite quote from the For Better or Worse cartoon is this. "Maybe I am different because I was put here to make a difference." And that is a very powerful statement. It was spoken by one of the first gay teen characters in a comic strip. Bloom whenever you are meant to. Everyone is different. All great people in society were non-conformers. Mama Cass sang it best. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nC7zSY5O6FU&feature=related

The Taj Mahal of chicken Coops

2011-09-15T19:45:00.000-07:00

I saw today on a website the most fabulous chicken coop I have ever seen. The man built it for his wife. I think he lives in the midwest, Idaho maybe. It has separate coops, joined in a hexagon shape, each have their own separate runs, it must have 25 coops and a brooder running up the center.

Best Chicken coop

I walked down to the creek last week. I had been meaning to do that for weeks. But it is down hill but then a strenuous up hill climb back. But I made it. Ralph was worried because the road is narrow with little walk room and windy. Not a lot of traffic but they drive fast on this country two lane. And we have already had cars lose it on the curve and end up in our front yard. The creek is very lovely. On the left side I think the farmer or someone put in river rocks, and made a little waterfall. Because on the other side of the bridge the water runs slower with no river rocks. Also good news. The well man came out and dug our well 90 feet deeper and he hit a vein, granite rocks went flying, water gushed up. 100 gallons

per minute. And he said, you won't have to worry about water anymore. I am so glad. I love these tree's and could not live here if I couldn't water them. And since then we've had tons of rain. Funny. Here are a few photo's of my walk. How are things DB?

Felicity Quite an actress and comedian in training.

2011-08-27T06:58:00.000-07:00

Tiny is quite fascinated by a two year old and her toys. He keeps stealing Woody her doll from Toy Story and her baby doll. Then there is a lot of screaming and chasing. He loves chasing her during a game of tag. He is not quite sure why everyone is chasing each other but he trys to join in. I am sure he will be napping a lot when all this company returns home. Today I will have besides my son Paul and his wife, also my cousin Pam and her adult son Jonathan. I am not cooking for that many people. It has been difficult enough to cook for a 2 year old. She only eats, grilled cheese, Totino pizza rolls (the plain cheese ones) Chicken Mcnuggets, and Macaroni and cheese and spaghetti. I had forgotten how picky two year olds are. hmmmm.... Robert is 37 years old. I think he waited a bit late to start a family. Especially when his father and I are 65 and 67. Tiny and I both will be taking naps next week. ha ha.

Dry Falls Highland North Carolina

2011-08-27T06:47:00.000-07:00

We went to view Dry Falls yesterday in Highland North Carolina. I had procrastinated long enough. I just do not enjoy the windy road leading up to Highland and the Falls. It has tight curves that never straighten along with drop offs with no guard rails in places. It is also very narrow. My son Robert and grandbaby Felicity are visiting so they wanted to see waterfalls. It is quite magnificent. But the climb back up from the falls is quite tiring. I just do not have the energy for long uphill hiking. You can even walk under the falls. And they have added a wheel chair viewing area. Before if you were in a wheel chair you could not even see the Falls from the parking area. And the old stone path going down to the Falls is quite rough in places. No sign of Hurricane Irene up here in the mountains. I guess we are too far away. But we sure could use some of her rain. It has been at least five or six days since we had any rainfall. Son number two, Paul and his wife Megian will arrive today at 3pm before Robert and Felicity depart to go back home to Pensacola Florida. How sad that it has been at least 3 years since Robert and Paul were together. Families are just so spread out now. I have one son in Atlanta, one in Pensacola and a daughter and son in Palatka Florida. None of these cities are that far apart. Maybe a day and a half apart but the kids never get together. Maybe living in the mountains was a good idea if it gets my kids to visit at the same time. New living room furniture is being delivered today. We are all tired of sitting on lawn chairs. Felicity is quite the helper in the kitchen. She helped me make spaghetti and a peach/cherry pie. She loves cooking. She is also quite the comic and makes up her own jokes. Her favorite character at the moment is Dora The Explorer. So Grandpa and I bought a Dora comforter and pillow for her bed. Thank goodness the new twin bed arrived before she did. Tonight until Rob and Felicity leave for home in the morning, Ralph and I will have to sleep in our RV. We only have sleeping for four. I bought purple verbena, an orange honeysuckle, and purple cones flowers for the deck. Then I bought these tiny little humming bird feeders to hang on the planters on the deck. One little hummingbird has already found them. It was Felicity's first experience seeing a hummingbird. Unfortunately he got a bit too close and she thought he was a bee. She is very afraid of bumble bee's. We have a lot of them up here.

Day Lillies

2011-08-17T10:34:00.000-07:00

The yard in my new house is full of spent daylily's. I have no idea if I am supposed to cut off the dead stalks. Or wait until Fall. There are two many to dig up. I am sure they have not been divided in at least two years because no one has lived here for two years. (I think) The husband of this house was the gardener. His wife did not garden. I can feel his ghost here. Because he was elderly and has passed on. We are having the well drilled deeper as it is going dry or has become what they call, a low yield well. And to do that they will have to cut down the river birch at the corner of the garage. They can't get their drilling rig in here with the tree in the way. Makes me sad. It is a beautiful river birch. My husband does not even seem to care. He said, Its just a river birch. They aren't that good a tree, are they? Sad. All tree's are good. Tiny seems a bit better than he was in Florida. But he gets more itching when it gets hot. Luckily summer seems to be over up here. We have not had to run air conditioning in days and days. Here are my dead day lilys.

Exhaustion is my middle name.

2011-08-03T18:06:00.000-07:00

So, it is Wednesday and we have been in our new home one week now. And for furniture we have three camping chairs, two lawn patio chairs (we just bought those at Lowes) one twin bed, and a futon with double mattress. we have a new fridge, new stove, new dishwasher, and new microwave. Our well is sometimes a bit wonky. But we think it is all the filters the previous owner put on it. Once we get a well man out to explain it, I think we will find the filters need changing. She also has a water softener on it which I hate. I already have hummingbirds. I bought a bluebird house but we have not put it up yet. A contractor fixed the pilings or posts on the back deck so that is done. Then he tore out the trim on the dining room alcove and tomorrow he will bring sheetrock and we will have another bedroom instead of this hideous brick colored formal dining room. The kitchen is as big as our living room and can fit a full size table with chairs. The mountains change by the hour. Sometimes at night they are pink, like this. We will have the main bedroom carpet ripped out and replaced with wood floors like the rest of the house by the contractor and he will redo the kitchen wood floors. Our sun room is tile. It really is a beautiful little cottage in the mountains. We met the owner at the closing. It was her husband a retired doctor who made the gardens full of everything you can imagine. Phlox, hydrangea, dogwood, camellia's, so many I can't even remember. Some I don't even know their names or what they are. He passed away. His wife almost went bankrupt trying to pay for her medical treatments for breast cancer. She is getting chemo right now. I wonder about a country where you go bankrupt trying to pay to save your life. So, Tiny is getting used to wooden floors and sliding. Our contractor has a female dachshund short hair, dapple. I would love a girl for Tiny. Sorry I have been absent. Been weeding, cleaning, weeding, cleaning, weeding. Well, you get the pictures. Work is good for the soul.

We got the house in Franklin North Carolina

2011-07-09T16:20:00.000-07:00

Our closing will be July 26th. I am researching what chickens to raise. And hoping the farmer behind me might have some advice or the neighbor next door who seems to have some sort of animal pen in his backyard. I have no idea how we are going to move after living in this house in Florida for 25 years. We have both our houses here up for sale with a real estate agent. My mother's house behind me and ours. We decided it would be too hard to maintain two homes. But if our's does not sell, for a while we will be able to have a winter home and a summer home.
The new house has been inspected and so far no big problems have arose. Everything can be fixed for under
1,000 dollars. We need to rip out the carpet in master bedroom because the rest of the house is all hard wood floors. I don't know why people want to put carpeting in their bedrooms. I don't find it that much warmer. And our little dachshund has rubbed and scratched off most of his fur in the two to three weeks we have been back home in Florida. Our Vet gave me some allergy medicine (I refuse to put him on steroids) It is either something in our environment, outdoors or indoors. Because his fur up in North Carolina grew in thick and beautiful. We were living up there for two months and he never looked healthier. I feel bad that I have brought him back and it has made him sick. I am not sure I posted the video of our new home. They said the owner will probably not come to the closing and that in fact many closings are now down long distance through email. I never heard of such a thing. We have appliances to buy and living room furniture. I cannot wait to start weeding her gardens.

Video on utube of our new home. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivBvHTfIp1I

Made an offer on a house in Franklin

2011-06-16T14:17:00.000-07:00

Well, it's not a farmhouse, but it has two acres and is unrestricted. Lots of garden space, mountain views. And the house and yard are beautiful. And the owner is battling cancer and is just trying to clear her two loans against the house. Sad. I hope we can buy it. The views are so beautiful. Its up in the mountains in Franklin North Carolina.

Heading for Franklin North Carolina

2011-06-10T20:18:00.000-07:00

In the morning we are heading to Franklin North Carolina to camp for a few days to a week and look around with a real estate agent. It is higher up in Franklin and about 5 degree's cooler. We did write a back up offer on the old farmhouse. And we will wait and see if that sale goes through. Maybe the buyers needed time to get enough money. Maybe they will back out of the deal. If so, then our bid will go right in behind theirs. The two story farmhouse still owns my heart. I got my hair cut the other day. I don't really know what is going on, maybe my thyroid is failing. But I can't seem to gain weight and my hair is getting very dry. I get my thyroid checked again in October. I hope we can find a farmhouse this trip. I am so tired of looking. It has been so hot here. I think they broke records. I saw some lightening bugs tonight. My little dog was curious because we no longer have them in Florida. Well, this is all the news. Onward to Franklin. Later.

Murphy North Carolina

2011-06-08T12:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I was going to post that we were putting an offer on the old farmhouse that I love. But someone else already has it under contract. Now I am heart broken. I will post photos of it but my heart is not in it. The realtor said we can write up a backup offer in case they back out of it. They have a contingency that they have a long time to back out of it if they want. But still I feel like it is gone. I can even write how sad my heart is. We should have made an offer on it right at the beginning. I will post more when I feel better.

Looking for the Farmhouse

2011-05-22T19:28:00.000-07:00

We've been in Murphy North Carolina now for about two weeks now searching for a farmhouse with about 3 to 5 acres or more. We've seen the right land, with the wrong house, the right house with the wrong land. And then we saw the one that said, "bring your own tools". The land was gorgeous but the farmhouse was crumbling. They should have said, bring your own bulldozer. I still love the farmhouse I loved on the internet. We will make a dream offer. If he does not accept it then we move on. The house inside is ready to move in. But the outside needs new roof, paint, some new siding. And some sort of heat for upstairs. It is still my favorite of all the places we have seen. There was one five acre place with a pond but it had restrictions and a home owners association. I've been in those. Don't want to live with restrictions again. Tomorrow we have one to look at up in Copper Hill which is almost on the Tenn. border. That would make a long drive to get groceries. I am not leaving until we get a closing. Tired of waiting. Life is short. More short than we know. The dog is doing so well on the trip. All his fur is grown back and hardly no licking or scratching which makes me think more and more he was allergic to our carpeting at home. So we are sticking to our rule of all hardwood floors. Here is the 1925 farmhouse. Pray that he accepts Ralphs offer. I dream of living here. I love this house. It has such warm. There was much love here once.

Feeling Well but not looking it

2011-04-25T08:44:00.000-07:00

I cannot figure out why I feel good but I keep looking ill. A year ago I had finished radiation and looked the best ever. Maybe the radiation just hastened my aging process, after all I will be 65 in July. But I look in the mirror and can't even connect my face now to the me about six months ago when we last visited North Carolina. Now I have other friends who have had radiation treatments and I do see the difference in their looks and face. But it depends on where the radiation was. If it was to the head or chest, then it affects their looks. But if it is radiation to the lower body, the face seems to be spared, but the internal organs are wrecked. Long term effects of scar tissue, and damage can require surgery as many of my friends have had. It may take ten years, but radiation for colon cancer and breast cancer can leave long term side effects. So, I guess I will learn to live with my new looks. And try not to be so vain and age more gracefully. I am on my laptop this morning so I can add more photographs from the other day. Less than two weeks and we will be on our way to the mountains and visiting our grandbaby in Pensacola, Florida. I am ready. I am a person who is part gypsy. We used to move every 5 to 10 years with Ralph's career field with IBM. I miss that. I don't enjoy staying in one place. I also love traveling. Ralph not so much. Reading the newspaper is dismal and depressing. It reminds me of my grandmother's life, during the Great Depression, no money, banks empty. Grandma raised chickens for eggs and took in sewing. Grandpa was a sheet metal worker and traveled to make cash. They lived from hand to mouth. But no one went hungry. If before July our government does not deal with our debt, and defaults, you will see banks fail. Retirement 401 K's will no longer be backed, even social security will be gone. We realize now we should have gotten the farm last year. At least if you have water on your property, wood, and chickens and gardens. You will eat. You will have heat. I hope our nation does not come to that. But it could happen. I pray not. For my grandchildren's sake.

Bluebirds.

2011-04-22T11:03:00.000-07:00

I have bluebirds. A house full of baby bluebirds. I am so in love. I put out mealworms for the parents. They appreciate the help in feeding. The house next to the bluebird house has baby chickadee's. Sometimes the father bluebird gets mixed up and tries to go into the wrong house. And then there is chaos. And a lot of chickadee shrilling and flapping of wings. I will try and get one of my bluebird photographs off of my facebook. I hate that all my photographs are on my laptop and never on this desktop. We are going to leave May 7th for Murphy North Carolina (where we were for weeks last Oct looking for our farmhouse) But this time we are not coming back until we bought the farm, so to speak. I may never come back at all. I am sick of no seasons in Florida, sick of heat, sick of no lilac's. Can't even bring myself to plant zinnia's this year. But I see some things like my purple cone flowers coming back anyway. We had flocks of catbirds and Cedar Waxwings stripping our mulberry tree's. My goal on our new farm is to plant way more stuff the birds eat naturally and buy much less sunflower seed. I may even grow sunflowers commercially because the price at the store has skyrocketed. I don't know what's going on. But I need stock in black oil sunflower seeds. So off to farmhouse searching we go. I had my two year followup with the radiologist in Tampa. So far, so good. He said, "I think that after two years, you are out of the woods." But I just live one day at a time and thankful for it. Hope when we get settled in Murphy camping I will have more time for updating this poor blog. Later.

Summer has arrived and the rain finally.

2011-03-28T08:10:00.000-07:00

As I type this. It is raining. We have been in a drought situation in North/Central Florida all winter. So the rain is welcome. My azalea bushes had almost no flowers. I have fifteen bushes. Two bloomed. It had to be the drought. As I type this, we are almost to April. After my checkup April 19th in Tampa at radiologist we will leave for Murphy N.C. and be gone all summer. We will not be back until we buy a new place to live. And then, if we find and buy a place, we may be gone through the Fall. I miss seasons living in Florida.

The hummingbirds have arrived. But my mulberry tree's are full of ripe fruit and no Cedar Waxwings this year. The fruit is going to rot. I should go out and pick it and make a pie. Mulberries are delicious. Most people won't plant them because they are messy. But I love them. I plant anything the birds like. I can't wait to get my farm in North Carolina and plant fruit and Berry ash tree's. We were feeding one stray cat we named buddy. He was beautiful. Then suddenly four more stray male cats showed up. Now Buddy had disappeared. We have a bob cat, a black and white tuxedo cat, and a grey persian. I have no idea who they belong to. Or if they have a home. I would like to be able to have the magical gift of finding who owned these animals and making homeless and hungry. I know, I have revenge issues. When it comes to animals, my kids say I love them more. Could be. I could have worse issues.

So, we will be leaving the end of April. But I will keep posting. In fact I will be posting more. When we are camping I have less daily jobs to do. Here are my photographs today and recently. Oh, my last checkup with my family doctor. All my blood work up lab work was excellent. For the first time in two years since radiation treatment. My WBC and RBC are in the normal range. Later. Enjoy your Spring wherever you can find it. <3

Daytona Beach Meet Up

2011-03-03T16:20:00.000-08:00

I met some online friends in Daytona Beach yesterday. Now, I don't go to Daytona Beach as a rule because it's not my kind of beach. And now I remember why. Wall to Wall highrise hotels. Even the pelicans don't go there. Really. As I drove from Flager Beach to Ormond Beach on A 1 A I noticed that there were huge flocks of pelicans flying right over my car roof all across the road. And why is that? Because that stretch of highway is sand dunes and two lane roads. No buildings. I got to Daytona and while visiting and walking the beach with my friends, I asked if they had seen flocks of pelicans during the week. They had not seen a one. And it was then I looked up and out, and there were no spaces between the buildings, no sky except out across the Atlantic. I hate construction and hotels. Daytona Beach is horrible. My kind of beach is just sand, ocean and sky. That is it. I don't even want wall to wall umbrella's. Fishermen are fine. They are there for a true purpose. I want no cars parking on the sand. I don't mind sand castles or jelly fish. But just give me a natural beach. Not wall to wall hotels with cabana's. Meet Penny and Fred from Maine.

So, on my drive back it was too late to stop at my favorite state park, Washington Oaks. But I still got to walk miles on the beach, and breath deep of the ozones. The air is better at the ocean. I don't know what it is. But as soon as I open the car window I breathe deeply like no where else. So, here are a few snapshots. It was a bit windy. A high of about 68. Not as warm as the last few days but still plenty of sunshine. In February. Love it. I hope I can manage to keep a house in both places. I would miss this beautiful February weather.

If this is still Florida. It's way too cold.

2011-02-10T10:17:00.000-08:00

It rained all night. And I believe the high today will be lower than the low this morning. Just went out to pick up the morning newspaper and it is cold and damp out. All grey. No sun. I have friend who are vacationing in Daytona Beach in March and I sure hope this weather takes a change for the better. Because they are coming from Maine and do not want to vacation in cold weather at the beach.
I got my hair cut. It was time. It was so long and unmanageable. Now it is about the length that it is in my profile from a year ago. Hard to believe that it has been almost a year since our big round trip camping trip all across the country. If gasoline were not so high I would want to do it all over again. It was an awesome experience. I definitely want to see Glacier Park in the Fall.
We have a new listing from our realtor. It is four acres, a house sold as is, a spring for the well, and another building that used to be a pottery shop. The house needs a lot of work. But the land is beautiful. And the price is fantastic. A bit over 50.000 and up next to a mountain. We need for winter to be over so we can go back up to North Carolina and buy a place.
I was just listening to Crystal Bowersox's new cd. She was a contestant on American Idol last year and in my opinion she was the winner even though she came in second place. Tiny is experiencing skin allergies. So far the Vet keeps giving him an allergy medicine. But once it is used up he goes right back to scratching his skin raw. While we were on the trip he never scratched. We have changed his food to lamb and brown rice, organic. The Vet thinking it might be a food allergy. Still scratching. I am lost for what to do. I think it could be something in his environment but it seems like it started after our dog Girl died and all our cats died. I think we are getting another dog soon. This is all the news.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NR8tH9tDGQ

Tiny needs a Friend.

2011-01-03T17:09:00.000-08:00

We are searching for another dachshund to be a pal and friend to our doxie Tiny. He seems lost since our big dog Girl passed away. And the pet psychic Sonja told me that Tiny wanted us to get another dog. I wish Tiny could talk. But I can tell he is sad.
We have been looking on the rescue Dachshund websites. But it seems there are not a lot near here. The closest one we found was in Ocala. And I think their dog was almost a year old and not really all dachshund. I am thinking we will just buy a dachshund. The rescue ones cost almost as much as getting a new puppy. But then they have done all the medical. Spaying, shots, heartworm. So, they have to pass that cost along because they are volunteers.

We are also still hoping for a farm in North Carolina or Tenn. And there are a lot more homeless Dachshunds up there so maybe we will just wait until we move. Because most of these rescue places do not allow you to move very far from where you adopt.

I just found out that Tim Tams are now being produced by Pepperidge Farm cookies. They are so good. A chocolate filled and iced cookie. Very much like a little candy bar. Tiny has been climbing into the folded towels again. I must find a closed bed that he likes which gives him the feeling of an igloo. The weather has been topsy turvy. That is Florida for you. I hate it. If it's cold, I want it to stay cold, if its hot, stay hot. But we have had below freezing for two weeks, then up to 80 degree's and warm, then back down to 23 degrees for a week. I am very tired of it. I am ready for a move to a new climate. After 25 years of Florida winters I want something different. And just maybe I'll be able to grow vegetables in the summer without them burning up.

I cooked Christmas dinner for seven family members and I survived. I usually get very nervous if I volunteer to be a host for a holiday meal. I have never been good at timing things or getting multiple dishes on the table at the same time. My husband was a great help. He suggested getting casseroles ready and putting in the refrigerator until time to cook. This helped me not panic. Our meal turned out very nice. I wish everyone a Happy New Year and a healthy one. So far so good. One day at a time. That is all we have anyway.

I want to be Farming.

2010-12-17T12:46:00.000-08:00

We tried to buy this farm in North Mountains. But someone made an offer before we could. The piece of property is over 8 acres and has an old farm on it. It is the most beautiful land between the mountains on Shoal Creek. The deal has not closed. I am hoping and praying there was a hang up and it did not go through. Our realtor is checking for us as to why it has not been closed yet. Maybe they wanted to subdivide and it was not allowed on this land.

http://www.trulia.com/property/1082833847-605-Shoal-Creek-Rd-N-A-Murphy-NC-28906

We had a nice Thanksgiving. And I am doing the cooking for Christmas. I have never cooked for eight or more people so I am very nervous. But I did not want my daughter in law to keep cooking the dinners as she works long hours. Our weather was bitter cold for a week and a half. Bird baths froze, my tropical gingers and orchid tree's froze. I do not know if they will come back this time. I want to live where it is constant cold in the winter. I hate this constant weather extremes. Very cold then almost hot. Florida is crazy. I am ready to move. I hope everyone has a nice Christmas. I will be busy cooking and shopping and mailing.

My nephew Jonathan and his Mom Pamela

2010-11-10T12:57:00.000-08:00

I forgot to add this picture and one of the deer in her back forty. She has 15 acres behind her home.

Judy Garland said it Best. There's No Place Like Home Toto.

2010-11-10T11:36:00.001-08:00

We got home from North Carolina/Tennessee a few days ago. It is nice to be in my own bed. But I want a house up in the mountains. Already I am hating this humidity. I breathe so much better up on the mountains. The air is much drier than Florida. And now after seeing Mindy I want another dachshund for Tiny to play with. We stayed over a week in Hendersonville. Hendersonville N.C. is just too touristy for me. Too much traffic. Although I do love all the history there and that Carl Sandburg has a goat farm there. I covet his goat farm. LoL. How I want goats and chickens. Karen our realtor was so nice. She has sent us more listings. We will be going back and taking a car next time and staying longer. I want that house in the mountains like an ache in my heart.

So, we visited my cousin and I got to see my nephew Jonathan whom I had not seen in years. He lives up in Greensboro N.C. where he graduated from college. My cousin Pam flew down to Miami, Fl for a college reunion so Ralph and I took care of her dogs and cats until he son got there. It started snowing the day before we left which I loved. But Murphy or near there is where I want to find a place. I loved Murphy. A few pic's I'll write more later. Maybe a new poem.

Houses I like

2010-10-26T20:19:00.000-07:00

Photographs from last week.

2010-10-24T12:26:00.000-07:00

These were taken coming across highway 64 from Chattanooga Tenn to Ducktown, Tenn. I loved Ducktown Tenn. We looked at this campground in Ducktown. Leading down the road to the campground was this falling down mountain house, with this mountain man, with long shaggy beard, falling down suspenders, whittling a stick. I am not kidding. I wanted to be his neighbor immediately. Then we get to this tiny campground, and there are only about ten campsites. No office to speak of where you would go pay, no one even in the campground. It was along the creek, very pretty. But very deserted. I wanted to stay, soooo I could walk down the road and talk to the mountain man. But the boss said it looked creepy. No adventure, just no adventure in his soul. So, we ended up camping in a very sane, campground, on the River in Murphy N.C. full of Hog motorcycle people from CANADA. And the first thing the Canadian motorcycle camper said to me was, "Not another camper from Florida." What are all you Florida people not happy in your state. Ha Ha. I could say the same about her. Now I could ride a three wheel bike but not two wheel. I just don't have the big money for a three wheeler. This entire group of motorcycle people wheel out of here each morning on their bikes and go about 100 miles up into the mountains in any direction and then ride back. They said they do this until they have seen the area and then they move on to another campground. Cool. Ok, these photographs are on highway 64 going through Tenn by Ducktown. (photographs in Cherokee National Forest along 64 and of the Ocoee River and TVA Tennessee Valley Authority. This is Indian Country.

We are in Peace Valley Campground in Murphy N.C. for a week

2010-10-24T12:04:00.000-07:00

We are searching for a summer home up here in Tenn. or North Carolina. I would prefer Tennessee but beggars can't be choosy. The Fall colors are just now peaking up here. It is quite cold at night. We had frost for two mornings. I love the frost but the boss does not. Our little dog Tiny is getting socialized with the big dogs in this park. There is a beautiful trio from one family of two golden Labs and one little long haired golden dachshund called Mindy. Tiny prefers Buddy and the other boy Lab. He harrass's poor Mindy. They have a little fenced in park at this campground. The bad news is all the car rentals are booked up. And the real estate people are swamped. So we have been sitting here just vegetating until Monday when a realtor can take us looking. From here we will go up to Hendersonville to visit my cousin Pam. And from there maybe to Charlotte N.C. to see old neighbors. I hope Blogger will upload my photo today.

We are in Murphy North Carolina tonight

2010-10-20T17:40:00.000-07:00

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=65710696186&v=info Sorry I have been so absent. But we have been traveling. First we went to Pensacola for Felicity's second birthday. Now we are up in Murphy North Carolina trying to find a new house. Well, a summer place to come when Florida is too hot in July. We will be traveling around here talking to realtors for a week or two. It is beautiful in this area of Cherokee National Forest in Tennessee. I really like the little town of Ducktown in Tenn. They have a Piggly Wiggly and a Hardee's. What more could I ever need.
The tree's have not peaked their Fall colors yet. They say on the twenty fifth of October it should peak.
Tiny made new friends in our Peace Campground in Murphy. Two Labs and a little mini dachshund named Mindy. And he went to the dog park in here and played with everyone. This is a first for Tiny because he was never socialized with other dogs before as his first owner, my husband's Aunt Lil never took him out or had visitors with dogs. I hope I don't wait so long the next time. And Dee if you are reading this we have a new forum group on Facebook. Everyone is there. James (an Earthor) started the group. We all wonder what happened to 4 corners and why can't we access it anymore, Henwhen said.
Hellllooooo Dee......... Sending out this wire to my friend Dee....... Pictures of where I am right now.
Well, it seems rbloggers doesn't like any of my uploads or my url for photographs. so, I guess I won't be coming to this blog anymore.

We are Back Home

2010-09-24T07:41:00.000-07:00

We are back home from the beach. And I am not sure I want to live at the beach full time. I wondered this time would that noise and roar of the waves get to be annoying. I do like the quiet of the forest and forest bird song. None of that at the ocean. Just gulls, and seabirds. Oh, and I fed a few grackles some stale bread. Also the wind was really strong due to hurricane's out there. When I got home my squirrels were so mad, they had attacked my new bird feeder. I had to put some peanuts out right away. Now we are home until the second week of October. We have to dog sit for the kids the first week of October while they go up to the Carolina mountains. Then we are going up to the Carolina mountains. I would like to have a farm. Not a huge farm but at least two acres. My husband is not adjusting to retirement. He had a very 24/7 stressful job but I guess he needed that or got used to it. So, once he started staying home he started taking over all the cleaning, dishes, laundry. Now that's ok. But then he took over my Farmville on Facebook. (a game that I was not very good at. ) He made my farm fabulous and every thought it was me. Then he got mad and started his own farm. But now he sits a lot all day playing this game. I have to find him a new hobby. This one is not healthy. Too much sitting. Fall has arrived. When the nuts and leaves start falling from the tree's, I know Fall is here. And also the love bugs have arrived. You can feel the slight change in cooler temperatures in the morning. It is about time. Because this has been the worst summer I can remember. Bad enough to make me want to move out of Florida. I am itching to plant more flowers for spring next year. Ok, enough of this. I must go get on my treadmill. Here have a butterfly. It was flying over the ocean.

Beach photographs

2010-09-21T13:30:00.000-07:00

The Beach

2010-09-21T13:21:00.000-07:00

We are at Ormond Beach Florida for a few days. I feel alive at the ocean. I walked enough on the beach to substitute for my treadmill. Pictures.

Hate to Admit

2010-09-16T13:12:00.000-07:00

But I am only averaging 1/4 mile on treadmill the last few days. And skipping the weights for a few
days. Must get back to my schedule. For me, if I don't do it early in the day, it does not get done. Surely
I can fit in more than one lap on the treadmill. It does not seem to be doing what I was afraid of, making me
lose weight. Instead my arms are looking more defined and less loose skin. And that is true all over. So, I must keep trying. Did I say that I hate exercise. I don't know why because I breathe so much better after two miles of walking/jogging. Sitting is the worst thing in the world we can do as we age. If nothing else, get up and move at least every hour. Even if you just walk from room to room. The other day I went outside just to look at the
birds and it felt so good. The heat is starting to let up in the morning and evening. I can't wait for Fall.
Today is my brothers birthday. He turns 63. We are getting up there. He is almost the only family I have left except for two cousins and an Aunt Anne in California. Life is shrinking. And I just lost my Godfather. He was ninety-one and said he was ready to go.

Day Three

2010-09-10T08:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I only walked a mile yesterday but I did all my exercises. I am adding a protein shake with lunch. I may have to talk to the nutritionist up at Moffits because no matter what I do, no weight seems to go to my face, chest, arms, etc. I have talked to others who had gone through radiation and chemo and lost a lot of weight. They tend
to stay gaunt and thin looking also. I may join the therapy gym here and see if a trainer can help me. It's not so much vanity but I want more strength back and muscle tone.
So, it's a commmercial and I walk on all commercials. It is going to be over 95 this weekend. Can I just say I dream of living up North. In the mountains. This heat is becoming unbearable in Florida and lasting later and
later and starting earlier and earlier. We are ready for a move. We plan to sell both homes next year and find
something in Tenn. or North Carolina. And all next year we will be trying different locations in our motorhome
to see where we feel the most relaxed.
I have to say retirement is kicking my you know what. My husband who used to use Saturday for his "man" things. Like haircuts etc now expects us to both do our errands, chores, shopping together because we gave
up the second car and its more economical to make one trip. I have to say, Blah, Blah, Blah. Retirement is kicking my you know what. We are just not used to living out of each others back pocket. So, today, I just said, Go. Because for a week he has been trying to catch his barber and each time his barber is not there. It seems his barbar is mostly retired and he makes his own hours and good luck figuring them out. I will just take my trips to town on a different day. Too much closeness can make Mom a bear to live with.
Later, the treadmill calls.

Felicity finds ABC song on Ipad

2010-09-06T12:45:00.000-07:00

Reading a story on the IPad when you are only two. And Lola the bulldog. Lola is her little sis.

Elmo is the Man!!!

2010-09-06T12:43:00.000-07:00

If you are almost two years old. Elmo is the man.

Youngest Ipad user Felicity works the Ipad.

2010-09-06T12:42:00.000-07:00

Felicity is a pro at 22 months on the Ipad.

My One Year Plan with Rosie Bloggers

2010-09-06T10:05:00.000-07:00

My plan will be different from most. I need to gain muscle not weight per se. About two years ago I weighed 168. I was about 30 pounds overweight at five feet six inches tall. Then I got cancer on a tonsil scar tissue. After seven weeks of radiation I weighed 104 pounds. I dropped over 54 pounds in two months due to the fact I could barely eat broth. Slowly with Carnation 560 and slowly more solid food I am now up to 120 pounds. And that might be fine except for the fact that I am 64 years old, I now have lots of loose skin even though I was not classically obese. And every pound I have tried to gain over 120 is going straight to belly fat and thighs. I still look emaciated on my shoulders, chest and face. I need to eat as healthy as possible and exercise to develop muscle tissue that has atrophied. Eating healthy is harder and eating protein is very hard because meat is hard to swallow without broth, gravy or some sort of sauce. Up until now I just poured canned gravy on my meat. I can eat vegetables cooked. I can't eat salad without lots of dressing. So, a healthy diet will have to incorporate soy and soy sauces. I want to look healthy again. Right now I do not. So, my plan is to gain ten more pounds of mainly muscle.

Height 5 ' 6 "
Weight 120

Today I walked/ran 1 mile on my treadmill. I did plank lift to count of 50. It is far better at tightening
the abdomen then sit ups. You just go up on your toes and hands like a plank board, you tighten your stomach and abs and count to as long as you can hold it. I could only do 20 counts at first. Now I am up to 50. I also do not have a lot of strength back yet but I am working on it.

So, lets all help each other. I may have the opposite problem but I know what it was like to be 30 pounds overweight and not be able to lose it. I do not recommend the radiation diet. Very painful.

Here are my photo's of where I was and where I am at now. I am getting fatty flab on my middle again. The food wants to go right back to the fat cells again. And I'll be darned if I will let it. So I will get off my ass, shut down the computer and exercise. And stop eating all sweets. They don't taste good anymore anyway.

Dogs Days Continue

2010-08-21T09:13:00.000-07:00

Today if this trend continues my part of Florida (Gainsville area) will break a record of continuous days of
over 90 degree F. Today being day 44 of over 90. Can I say. I feel like I fell into hell on earth. We have
decided we are moving out of this state. Not just being snow birds. We are moving lock stock and barrel.
I feel this is part of global warming and the trend will continue. It is no longer worth the nice winters to stay.
And we are not in a position in which we have to stay here. I want to move to Glacier Park area in Montana.
My husband would rather somewhere more temperate like North Carolina mountains. Oh, the joy's of retirement. Actually I want to live on the ocean but I know that is not going to happen. So, I am going to settle for the mountains and a chicken coop. Yes, I want a chicken coop. I am already looking at how to build a chicken coop. But I also want my chickens to have free range at times. I want a huge chicken coop with like boxes for nesting. I want the Taj Mahal of chicken coops.

We are leaving on Monday to babysit for Felicity who is now almost two years old. And as my son Robert
said. "You might want to put her in daycare a few hours a day because she never stops. She never stops.
Meaning she is on the go 24/7. She does not sit down and play with toys, ever. She loves her mother's
IPad. It has now become her own. She not even two. What child needs an IPad of her own. A 400 dollar item. I think it will be a rough week. I plan to let her have whatever she wants unless it is harmful. It is not
my job to change things. Just be there and keep her safe for a week.

My baby brother chooses to continue to live in Colorado. It makes me so sad because he is the only family I have left besides my Aunt Anne in California. There is no reason why he could not move back to Florida. He is retired. He just needs to sell his house. All his other family live over here on the East coast. His cousins both live in Miami and Hendersonville N.C. So, why continue to live so far from family. Maybe I just answered my own question. Later Gator. Going AWOL for a week. Me and brother Ben this past May. In his back yard in Colorado Springs.

Dog Days of Summer

2010-07-22T19:15:00.000-07:00

I believe we are in the middle of them. I don't want to do anything. I water the flowers and feed the birds at 8am. And after that, I hide in the house in air conditioning. I am looking forward to Fall. I don't even have any great new photographs to post. Because we have not been going anywhere so it would just be another butterfly photo or hummingbird. Oh yes, about the hummingbirds. We started out with the Mom and Dad and now we have four. I had to put up a second feeder across the yard under the crepe myrtle tree so they would stop attacking each other. They are soooo territorial. Not nice birds at all. I love to hold up the feeder from my hand and make them come right up to my face. I always wear glasses because they have strifed me like a jet. Trying to scare me, I guess. It has been so hot, I have to change the sugar water every third day. Even by then it starts to ferment like wine.

We have had wild thunderstorms and torrential rains. Then it will dry out. And get hot again. Had to take the dog to the Vets. He came home from his trip out West and went into shock from the flea's and heat and humidity. His skin and fur were perfect out in Montana. Its cool and dry there. I really would like to move
out there. But I don't have the say in that matter. Now the dog is on new flea medicine, a people allergy med called atarax. I want a puppy. I think Tiny would be so much happier if we had another dog. He has lost all his friends. We lost our cat Inky a few weeks ago. Old age. Now it's just Tiny and he is lonely

I made friends with a man in Tombstone Arizona. He built his own observatory on his land. I wanted to go and see him when we went through Arizona. He found out he has terminal cancer. He gave his observatory to a university and established a scholarship in his name. He expected he would be gone by now as the doctors gave him six months. But he is still here. He said he is stopping the transfusions so he will go faster.

I wish he could have a miracle. Doctors don't know everything. They should not give out those six month things. Ok, this is all I've got. I need another road trip. I want to go up to Maine. Far far away from this heat and humidity. I want to walk on a Maine beach and eat lobster and corn on the cob. Later.

I don't want to be the last to go.

2010-07-01T11:34:00.000-07:00

Those were words my mother always said as she got older. Especially from age 80 onward. And so she left before her cousin Irene who was 85. Irene would have probably gone on to make 100 as her own mother did but she had no patience. And she would never wear her hearing aid. So, she did not hear that car coming up as she crossed who did not heed the stop sign.

We left for parts West (California, Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming and Colorado) about three weeks ago. It was a month long trip. We debated about our cat Inky. She had to be at least 14 (hard to know when they arrive as a stray) and a bit depressed as she had lost her pals Bo and Snowball the year before (two boy cats from the same litter) We had never taken Inky along on trips before. But then, she had always had the company of the other cats. So, a week before our motor home month long trip we took Inky to St. Augustine beach as a test. At first we kept her in the carrier on the way. But on the way home (just an hour drive) we let her loose to wander the motor home. She did very well once camped, seemed a bit anxious on the road but soon found her spot. So we decided to take her on the road. She did fantastic on the entire journey. I think maybe both she and our dachshund Tiny had a bit of trouble in the Montana and Oregon mountains and had to learn to alleviate the pressure in their ears. Tiny yawned finally, not sure how Inky handled it. And on this trip Tiny and Inky bonded. By that I mean, Tiny came into the house late in the game so he was always a bit jealous of Inky. And Tiny wanted a playmate and they were the same size but Inky was not the least bit interested. But on this trip they got closer and closer. Even sharing beds and robes. Maybe they were both scared and thought they would never find their way home. But they bonded. When we came home Inky seemed very happy. But she started refusing food soon after and next refused water. The Vet was unsure of what was going on. I think her kidney's may have been challenged on the long trip. But she was well the entire trip and enjoyed it immensely. Even riding on the front dash on the highway. The other day she passed away quietly in her sleep. No more cats. We had always been a multi cat home. Inky came to us with a mother cat and four kittens. We think Inky was from the previous litter. We found homes for all the kittens. But Mama Kitty and Inky became ours. We already had two brother cats, Bo and Snowball. So that's it. The end of the cats. My husband said he is tired of burying pets. So Tiny. You are the last of the last as my mother would say. May you live long and prosper..

English Country Dancing.

2010-06-24T10:08:00.000-07:00

My high school girlfriend asked me to meet her in the next town over, Gainesville, Fl. to try English country dance. I will say the music is beautiful. They have flutist,
and guitar, drums. It is sort of like a waltz with a zippy two step. I took the beginner's lesson before the dance. I made it through the first two hours and then the steps and dances got more intricate and I was wayyyy out of my element/comfort zone. I knew it was time to sit, when a partner said, quit looking at your feet and watch me.
Helen said, Think Jane Austen. These people even have Balls where they dress up in period clothes. I can't imagine my husband every joining me in this. But it was interesting. I might try it again as a group closer to me in Deland, Florida is starting their own group dances. It is also making me want to learn the violin or banjo. It is too hot for June. If this is June, what in the world will August feel like? This must be part of global warming. And I don't like how warm our winter was. I enjoy a bit of chill in December. We are going to take another trip up to Tellico Plains Tennessee to look for a house. We also want to see if it is any cooler up there in July than it is here. Here are a few photographs from the dance. I will try and update more often.

Home Sweet Home

2010-06-10T12:47:00.000-07:00

We got back home from our travels on Monday. Boy, I hate unpacking a 31 foot motorhome. I thought my hummingbirds had left me but I saw one this morning. It took me a few days to feed all my flowers and tomatoes and green beans. I had the water timer on them but still they have not grown much but at least they are not dead. I believe Idaho surprised me the most. We only touched the tip tip of Idaho crossing over to Glacier Park from Washington and I never expected to notice the state. The most beautiful mountains and huge rock cliffs. I would like to go back to Idaho and fish or just hang out. Lots of mining towns and poor people. Reminded me of Kentucky. I also read some of the local newspapers and read about what the mines have done to generations of families health.

It will take us the rest of the summer to pay off these gas bills. You almost have to fill the monster every day or two and its over a 100 bucks a wack. Heck I could have gone to England. I loved the wild mustangs at auction in Rawlins Wyoming. And i would love to go back out and buy a foal Maybe one day. Nice to be home. This morning I just sat in my oak woods and appreciated what I have right here in my own backyard. My red birds are starting to come back to the feeders. I really hate to leave home but sometimes you just have to. Later.

Almost Home

2010-05-31T21:39:00.000-07:00

We are in Colorado Springs Colorado tonight visiting my baby brother for a few days. We have been to Oregon, Washington,
Montana, Idaho, Wyoming. We missed the Dakota's, Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Iowa. Maybe the next time. The weather turned to snow in Yellowstone. It was raining in Glacier International Peace Park. But it was still beautiful. I will try over time to post
many photographs from my laptop. But we have terrible wi fi connection in most parks. Slow uploads. Here is Glacier Park and some of Yellowstone.

Golden Gate Bridge and on into Oregon

2010-05-20T19:45:00.000-07:00

I believe Oregon coast line is now my favorite. It has the craggiest cliffs, and best tide pools. But requires lots of climbing down and climbing back up. And my knees are not what they used to be. Tonight we are in Gold Beach Oregon. Very pretty. Yesterday we were close to the Oregon state line. We did not drive through the Redwoods national park. Just road alone highway 101 and saw the Redwoods along the highway. We might have to skip some of Washington state coast line and head for Montana so we will have time for Glacier state park. Later. Time to eat my t.v. dinner.

Monterey California

2010-05-17T23:14:00.001-07:00

We are on a huge trip which we have looked forward to for twenty years. A trip all across the west to Califronia coast, Oregon, Montana. We left West Texas San Antonio a week ago. Started in Florida. Tonight we stopped on Monterey Ca. after driving the coastal highway 1 from San Luis Obixpo to Monterey. Very scary drive along high cliffs over the ocean in our thirty foot motorhome. We are stressed to the max. But what beautiful scenery. I hope I can have time to post some along the way. Tomorrow we will cross the Golden Gate bridge in San Fran. Then on to Oregon.

Pensacola

2010-05-06T20:53:00.001-07:00

In Pensacola tonight. Saw the grandbaby. She is sick, running a fever. Sunday we head for California and the west coast.
Dread seeing what New Orleans coastal area looks like. Family here is sick over the oil spill and what it will do to the economy
here which depends on the beaches.
Saw son's home in downtown Pensacola. It is a lovely 100 year old house. He and his wife graduate from college on Saturday.
We might be babysitting granddaughter Felicity on Saturday if she is well.
We haven't really planned out what we want to see on this trip other than the states we want to get to. So far the cat is doing
fine traveling. Better than the dog who has been doing it now for two years. Nice campground here tonight in Pensacola.
Here is a photograph of our camping in St. Augustine last weekend. Hope to keep a journal of our trip on the blogs.

Leaving for L.A. Oregon Washington Montana

2010-05-03T12:22:00.000-07:00

And parts unknown. Will probably not be able to update a lot from my laptop unless our campground has wi fi. We are taking this huge trip to see the rest of America that we have missed. Mostly out West. Be back sometime in June. Took a test trip this past weekend to St. Augustine Beach to make sure the motorhome is good. A guy at camping world told us we needed new tires. The RV is only two years old. He said they were dry rotting on the sides already. That could be as since my cancer diagnosis we have not had it out of the carport in months and months, a year maybe. Sitting is not good for tires. I tried to tell my husband that. But I guess we are going to just take the chance and hope the guy was just trying to sell tires. Also our propane alarm went off after we got propane. It does it every time. We had someone with a test go around a look for leaks. We have none. so the alarm is defective. will have to get that replaced. Later. See you in two months.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sparroweye/4572514342/

Hummingbird Fever

2010-04-15T13:55:00.000-07:00

This occurs when the male hummingbird arrives in March or April and I follow him around trying to get that perfect
photograph. It usually never happens. That could be because I have never read the handbook with my new camera.
When the female arrives and then the young juvenile babies they are much less camera shy and I can take multiple photo's
of them. Today I got a photo of him on the coral honey suckle. I had the ISO at 400. I have no idea what that means. My son
set it there for me. He is the one who bought me the fancy camera. I wish he had also stayed around to give me a few
lessons.
Today I was skyping with a friend in Holland. There is something magical about sitting in your sunroom on a video cam and
talking live to a friend in Holland. It just seems magical. One New Years Eve he even stuck his laptop out the window in freezing
temperature I might add and gave me a view of their new years fireworks display in Shiedam Rotterdam. It was beautiful.
The internet technology has changed the face of the world. I can talk to my granddaughter on here live. Learn to play the
drums. Whatever did we do before this electronic age. I'll tell you. We went outside more, we had more picnic's, we played real cards at a card table. We saw the blue sky more, the bird song more. We felt the sun on our face more. I think progress is
grossly over-rated.
Today is sunny, cool and windy. And magically while checking the mail at my daughters house behind me I heard the screech
owls. They have not showed up to nest this year. But at least I know they are still in the neighborhood even if they are not using
my bird house.
We are still searching for a farm in Tennessee. This place is getting way over developed for us. It gets harder and harder to stay in the wild. Because civilization always finds you. Til tomorrow. My three four fans.

Hands

2010-04-13T20:25:00.000-07:00

This hand belongs to the one I love. He was sleeping. I have always loved hands. I love very old hands gnarled with age. I love newborn babies hands. I love how newborns find their hands and hold one hand while gazing into the other hand as if it's a crystal ball. I love watching elderly couples still holding hands. It's a lost art holding hands. Hugging is still in vogue. But holding hands seems to have disappeared. I wonder why.
I believe the laying on of hands can heal. Not meaning in a religious way. I just think hands can impart energy and love and healing. A great man knew this. I love seeing people who work with their hands. Bakers kneading bread. Artists slapping paint on canvas. Mothers patting babies on the back. We don't touch enough anymore. We keep our distance. Unless of course you are Italian. We talk with our hands. We grieve with our hands. We make love with our hands. Today was a good day. The sun came out but it rained a bit. Something for everyone. Ever notice how the birds sing when it is just a shower. Bird's know.

When I met my husband

2010-04-02T13:11:00.000-07:00

I had really given up on falling in love. I had even given up on finding anyone I was attracted to. And then he showed up. I didn't like him. Really. He wasn't packaged cool. He wasn't given to keeping up with the current style of dressing. He wore when he was on leave from the Air Force ( garage pants from his part-time job) But, I worked with his mother at the time. And she and I were friends. So, I went out with him one more time. That was the time he kissed me. I remember thinking, I never want this kiss to end. And then I remembered being horrified and thinking (not him) And good thing he doesn't read my blog.

It's just that I was young and wanted what all young girls want. The gorgeous guy, great dresser, loves dancing. Well, he was not any of those things. But he could ring my bell over and over again. Up until this date, I was thinking maybe I should try girls. Even though I had never had any crushes or thought about girls in a sexual way. I was shy of 20 years old. And then he came along. I really tried to get rid of him. But he stuck like glue. About this time i had decided I was just not dating enough guys. So I was dating every guy that asked. I was going out with three guys at one time. One was an artist hippie type, one was my steady date and 9 years older than I was. ( but more like my brother than a boyfriend) Well, Ralph got rid of all of them. One by one they
disappeared. The hippie guy was at my work place one time when Ralph came in and I had to go to the back of the office and when I came out, he had disappeared. I never saw him again. Then, every time I was at a college party with the steady date, Ralph would jealousy drive all around the university of Miami trying to figure out where I was.

Over time, I completely forgot how I thought of Ralph when we first met. It's as if I was looking through the eyes of love. By this time I hated to even be apart from him. But our relationship continued and lasted through living one year in France, one year as an airline stewardess. And finally after three years of seeing each other we got married. I know now what is meant by, "Love is
blind". Because love is the great common denominator. When you fall in love, you look at the other person through different eyes. it's a strange feeling. And if you're lucky and you work at keeping that glow alive it lasts forever. I can remember just the touch of his hand was all it took. I feel lucky. That we met. We lived in different parts of the city. Never would have normally crossed paths. But I worked with his Mom. One thing I will say about men. if he treats his Mom well. Grab him.
Here have some goldfinches.

Got through another cancer check-up

2010-03-26T10:02:00.000-07:00

I won't go into detail because I am a total hyperchondriac. I am the last person who should have gone through cancer. But everything is still A-ok.

I love spring. I think I may change this to my favorite season. It used to be Fall. But really Spring with all the blackberry blossoms, birds building nests, bee's humming. It's just the best. Cool nights, warm days. Still no air conditioning on.
I wish it would last forever.

Well, with that checkup. We are now free to travel. Not another checkup until the radiologist the end of June. So, we are planning our Great Big Road Trip the end of April. We will head out West. Go up the West coast, cut over to Montana, Wyoming,
maybe visit Wisconsin, Utah. All the states we have missed.

We have a new bird feeder. It is huge. And so far the squirrels have not been able to
access it. We made our old mailbox into a squirrel feeder. They are a bit leery to go inside of it. Not much new. Wanted to go see Alice in Wonderland but guess I will wait for the DVD to come out.

Magic

2010-03-19T09:42:00.000-07:00

There are some things that never fail to bring the magic. A shooting star spotted accidently. The first hummingbird. A butterfly suddenly landing on you. No matter how many times I have seen a hummingbird. The first sighting brings me to my knee's. Always. It is the same reverence I hold for newborn puppies and babies. The newness, the awe factor just never never goes away. And I feel the same way about the ocean. These are the things that give me hope, over and over again. These are the things I would share with an alien to my planet. Oh, and of course blueberry cobbler. Today I am nostalgic because I succeeded in pissing off a hummingbird and getting a decent photograph of him. It would have been better with less bright sunlight. But still, it was pretty good. No matter how many summers I have been photographing hummingbirds, I never get tired of it. In fact I would say all of nature brings me joy. New wildflowers. If you really want to enjoy the small things in life that we constantly pass by. Just take a long walk in the wild with a two year old. They will show you the way. Peace out people.

Goldfinches are Everywhere.

2010-03-16T15:41:00.000-07:00

The goldfinches are turning to their full colors. I saw a Parula the other day. They are a type of warbler. Won't be long and the flycatcher will show up. Then I will know for sure that winter is OVER. And I am so ready. If we can't have snow here, what the heck are below freezing temperatures for. I sure didn't move here for the cold. If this keeps up I will have to move further south.
We need to start planning our big trip out to the West coast. We need to route it, and see how much the gas is going to cost and if we need to take out a bank loan. Ha Ha.
My new favorite show comes on tonight. It just started three weeks ago. It is called Parenthood and is not quite comedy but not full out drama either. But it is very well written. There are so many reality shows on television right now. The only two I care for are American Idol and I am growing tired of that and Jerry Seinfelds new Marriage Ref show. I have bluebirds looking. At my real estate. They sure take their time picking a house. Not much else new around here. It is a bit chilly now that the sun has gone down but had the windows open all day. Nice to get the electric bill down before the air conditioning takes over. Here have a Goldfinch. I call this one. The Thinker.

Spring is right around the corner

2010-03-09T16:26:00.001-08:00

Today I saw a bee on the plum blossoms, some coral vine, and apple blossoms. And tomorrow it is going to be 72F and sunny. Can spring be far behind. Maybe a beach trip tomorrow. We are going to get to babysit Felicity in August for an entire week. She will be almost two. They have a new puppy named Lola who follows Felicity everywhere now that she can walk. I watched the puppy following her on skype. I have skype if anyone else has it and a high speed connection. You really have to have broad band. I have bluebirds looking at my bird houses every single day. I have pine warblers, goldfinch, yellow rumps, chipping sparrows. Can life get any better than this. When we babysit Felicity I promise to make a Flip video of the puppy following her. I hear she is hell bent on wheels now that she can walk. I'm ready. Nothing I like better than an almost two year old that says, NOOOOO
a lot. And I am not being sarcastic. I love that age. It's like thirteen only cute. I am getting my poetry printed into a small book. This one is not in the book so I will post it today.

~Halfway to Spring~

Dark is the morning,
cold is the frost,
but I saw a Robin on
Christmas morn.

Gone all the green,
shoots,
brown is the meadow,
but deep in the earth,
wait narcissus bright yellow.

Huge hang the stars,
on a cold winters night,
bright shines Venus,
come down from the sky.

Asleep in the winter,
when snow lays so deep,
dreaming of fireflies,
and summer warm heat.

Bluebirds are Back

2010-03-05T09:41:00.000-08:00

Daily now the male bluebird trys to woo the female to the house in my front yard. I had put out mealworms and they checked them out. Must find a cheaper source. I keep their birdbath filled up daily. They love water.
I am waiting for a printing company downtown to get a booklet of twenty of my poems printed. They said they were swamped with work right now.
I hope we can head to California and Oregon in April. Not putting off anything now. Why wait. We still have goldfinches around but not as many pine warblers. I am waiting for the Parula and yellow rumped warblers to arrive. I think I need to put up another bird house for the chickadee. He is always fighting over these two bluebird houses. If I lived on the beach I would not have
bluebirds. Or really many wild birds at all.
I want to go see Alice in Wonderland. It will probably disappoint me but for the scenery and graphics alone it will be worth it.
And the costumes. The trailers look so awesome. Not much new to update. The weather is still cold in the morning but sunny.

Gone to the Sea and Never coming Back.

2010-02-22T06:12:00.000-08:00

I went to Washington Oaks State Beach and Mantanza Inlet beach yesterday. Temperatures at home were 74 and sunny. But it was 64 at the beach and still sunny. If the wind is high it can be chilly. But it was beautiful. Where else but Florida can you enjoy the beach in February. I try and remember this when I am sweltering in July with the air so hot and humid you just want to stick your head in the freezer. And going outdoors is not an option. But still, we are considering moving to the mountains. Best of all would to be able to keep our little place here, only sell the other house and still have a winter place.

The birds were in abundance at the beach. By the time I left I was taking huge gulps and breath's of ocean ozone. I really think
they should bottle it and put a prescription on it. I understand now why they used to take T.B. patient's to the ocean shore. The doctors told my grandfather his emphysema would be better by the ocean air. So, I walked long walks on both beaches. I took many many photographs. But I remembered never go to the beach on the weekend. Too many people. Only mar were a makeup couple at my favorite state park on the rocky ledges. I'm sorry, it's a nature state park. Can't you take your kissing somewhere else. The ocean fuels me.

The Music of the Ocean

A sucking noise, like a birth,
spitting life out upon the sand.
tiny shells creating a musical windchime
as they roll to and fro.

A moaning across the waves almost
undetectable to the ear,
a keening of bird song,
a roar in the ear,
of crashing waves,
a foam spray kissing
your face with salt
a tugging of your soul,
a song beyond your hearing
the sound peaks like a
musical crescendo
the score written in the sand.

Bird Watching

2010-02-19T08:26:00.000-08:00

My Downy woodpecker is always around here somewhere. He is my standby bird. He loves the suet blocks. He has built a nest in a hollow broken dead tree trunk over my pond. His baby birds were very demanding and noisy. It was the first time I ever had a chance to watch a downy raise babies.

The only other birds I have been lucky enough to have raise babies are eastern screech owl, chick a dee, flycatcher and once a bluebird. I think I will try a downy woodpecker house by my pond because the old dead tree trunk fell apart. A great part of my joy each day is seeing a favorite bird that is rare. I wait each year for the flycatchers and parula to arrive. Yesterday I swear I heard that buzzz of the hummingbird by my viburnum which is blooming. It is way to early to hear a hummingbird. But then it has been a very strange winter, so why not?

Wherever I move to. i hope, I know there will have to be birds.

Great Back Yard Bird Count

2010-02-16T12:21:00.000-08:00

I am a total bird geek. I even buy meal worms and have a special cup to put them in. Next I will be breeding meal worms.
Hey, they cost more than red wrigglers. The other day the bait shop guy said, "What the heck are you feeding these too. I said
bluebirds. He said, If they will eat red wriggles they are a lot cheaper. ha ha.
This year I did not have a lot of rare birds. But I did have a lot of pine warblers. But not so many goldfinch and no yellow
rumped warblers at all. It has been a strange winter in North Florida to say the least. I think parts of the midwest got our
winter and we got their winter. The Northeast got dumped on. Up North got snow and we got just plain freezing.
I have chickadee's checking out my bluebird houses. I would run them out like I did last year but my son said he was going to
turn me in to the bird abuse society. So, whoever gets their nest built first. They are the winners.
I also have stray cats that I feed. And those are not conducive to feeding birds. I would like to strangle whoever turns their
pets out to fend for themselves.
Valentines Day almost did me in. One can only eat so many truffles. Trying to update these journals more often. At least
it is sunny today even if I did have ice in the birdbath. Later. Here, have a pine warbler.

Phoebe

2010-02-07T07:43:00.000-08:00

Every winter running almost to spring. The PHoebe shows up. This year I think I have a pair. They have become my fairytale
bird. They are so elusive and hard to spot. They flit and shake their tail a lot. But I love them. They kind of look like those junco's. Like a nun bird. I call Junco's the nun birds because they have like a grey hood over their head and back. With an ivory stomach. Anyway. My passion for Phoebe's started few years ago. Kind of like my passion for blue buntings, grosbeaks and
painted buntings. (which one has never shown up, and the other two have only appeared in my yard in the winter once in 20 years.

Which, by the way, my husband and I just realized we have lived here for twenty years. In our entire married lives which is 43 years we have never lived anywhere more than ten years. So we feel it is time to move. We like moving. I don't like starting over with a garden or yard. I always try to get my husband to buy me a place in which some 90 year old lady gardener tended it most of her adult life, and it would have old rose bushes, and huge mature 100 year old tree's. Once, the first home we were buying we saw this house down in Miami, Florida. The house was "nothing" not anywhere near right for us. It only had one bathroom. And my husband has a rule. Must have two bathrooms. But it had the garden of eden in the back yard. And I don't mean that jokingly, it was like the garden of paradise, Every flower or plant I have ever wanted was in that yard. And i begged my husband to buy the place. But he refused. I have been known to buy a house for the yard. ha ha. Even sometimes for an awesome front
door. But I still remember that yard. I would not have had to plant a thing. Just keep the garden going. So, anyway, we are researching where we want to move. Tennessee has been looked at and mentioned. On our trip out West in April we will check out Montana. We just want change.

Ok, so I got a half way decent picture of my Phoebe to share with you. He/she was in the shade. But you can still tell it is a Phoebe. Also a new photo of me. I will try to update more often.

Just Another Hang up

2010-01-30T12:50:00.000-08:00

Go to this web site and enter the contest to win a cute wristlet.

http://justanotherhangup.blogspot.com/2010/01/wristlet-give-away.html

Girl

2010-01-30T07:47:00.000-08:00

I realized after reading someone's poetry that I never really blogged about how we came by our dog, Girl. Some things just aren't planned. And they come into your life with an insistence that seems written in stone. By that I mean, it will happen whether you want it or not. I had never taken in a stray. We had always paid big money for a pedigree. After we lost our little west highland terrier at age 8 to cancer, we said never again. No more dogs to fall in love with and weep over when they go.

Then Girl showed up. I remember the first time I saw her. It was pouring rain, kind of like it is doing but then it was accompanied by thunder and lightening. And I see this half grown mutt racing up and down the road in a panic. Going to each fenced in property trying to find a place in. She came down my driveway. I let her stay on my front porch. Our uncle was the past president of the humane society. It is a no kill non profit privately owned facility. They don't take dogs and cats until there is an opening. So, Ralph's Uncle asked us if we could just keep her on the front porch, safe until he could get her an opening. So, this is how it all started. I had never owned a stray let alone an outdoor dog. So, we fed her, watered her. Eventually petted. her.
He kept taking her down to his facility to see if a spot had opened up. Then it got cold. I took to bringing an old quilt out to the front porch for her. Next thing I knew I was spending all my time on that old quilt out front with her. I was falling in love and didn't even know it. She was inching her way into my heart. Bit by bit. And there is something about a stray. They are so appreciative of every scrap of love you give them. Even just a passing pat on the head. It breaks your heart. And so it went. Uncle Lennie kept trying to find a placement and we would only call her " Here Girl" because we had no intention of ever keeping her. We were through with dogs breaking our hearts and dying on us. So we never gave her a name. This went on for weeks.
Finally one day my husband just said to his Uncle. Forget it. She's ours. We gave her a bath, brought her into the house. And we never did give her a name. Because by that time she thought her name was "Girl". And so the universe gave us a dog.
And she was very protective of us. But very gentle with children. She was like a gentle giant. And she grew. She grew so much that when she would try and sit in our laps, only a tiny portion would fit. But she kept trying as funny as she looked. Then when she realized she was too big for that. She would come and lay her head on our knee and look up at us. I would give my whole entire world for one more of those looks. And she was pure joy to watch. At about age 2 or 3 she would leap through our woods like a goat, straight up, straight down and flush out birds and rabbits. She never really wanted to catch them. She just liked the game. We think she had some bird dog in her because she would stand by a tree, catch a scent of something and freeze and just point in one direction for fifteen minutes. We took her everywhere. She went to Colorado. She went to Canada. She was a well traveled dog. And when we got our motorhome her favorite thing was to visit campgrounds. She loved it. Her favorite was the mountains and forests. She did not care for the ocean too much. She loved campgrounds that were full of other dogs.
And one day we inherited a little dog named Tiny. He was a mini dachshund. He fell in love with Girl but she only tolerated him.
We loved Girl for ten years. Then she got sick. They never did find out what was causing it. Her lungs were cloudy and the Vet suspected cancer. We kept her comfortable but in Sept she passed away of an assumed heart attack at home. I whispered to her. Find me Girl. Find me. And life will never be the same without her.

If only a blueBird Poem I wrote

2010-01-27T20:02:00.000-08:00

Today two bluebirds were checking out my bluebird houses. I cannot even describe properly the joy I felt. There is no way to explain it. I am just a total bird geek. The two that send me over the edge when they show up every year are bluebirds and hummingbirds. Well, bald eagles do too but those are scarce around here. But we did have "one" one time. So, anyhoo, I read something awesome about the bluebird family, how if the female adult bluebird dies, the fledglings from the last nesting will help the male adult feed the new babies. I thought, how superior they are to us humans. If only they knew. So, a few years back I wrote a poem about it. Oh, and here are my bluebirds. Enjoy. I sure did. I even bought some mealworms today. Gross looking. And I plan to put them out in the morning.

If Only a Bluebird

Imagine a world in which
every cell is connected
to every other cell.

One cells pain, would
radiate to every other
cell.
Instantaneous empathy.

No media news or publicity
would have to tell us
how to behave, or not.
I am you, you are me.

Maybe on some alien
planet
in some far away galaxy
there exists a connectedness.

If only a bluebird,
if only we knew,
we haven't a clue.

Spring is right around the corner

2010-01-13T13:17:00.001-08:00

A robin told me so. Whenever Robins show up in flocks I am always always enheartened and uplifted. No matter that it is January and 20 degree's. They herald spring to me. And they are so comical and crazy and well, nuts. And they make funny
bird noises. We had a huge influx of Robins the other day. Spring can't be far behind.

I continue to have good cancer checkups. But my stress level is always high just before the checkup. Every little scratchy throat becomes a threat, every minute thing a mountain. I am hoping as a dear friend who survived this to pass his five year point said, Live as if it never happened. Live life, not fear. I am hoping to get to that point one day.

Our weather is warming up. We were in a deep freeze for over a week. For Florida to be below freezing for five and six days in a row is so unusual as to almost be a warning. That something is wrong with the universe. I am watching Ellen right now. Last night American Idol was quite good. I liked Victoria on there as a guest. I like her better than Kara. Ok, my Mac battery is low and I am too darn lazy to go plug in. Now that darn commercial. Plug it in, Plug it in. Is now stuck in my head. Later.

Christmas Day 2009

2009-12-25T18:05:00.000-08:00

Well, Chelsea's (our granddaughter) Great Uncle Tim drove all night to get here for Christmas with her brother Jacob. Jacob lives in Missouri with his Dad and Chelsea lives here with her Mom. And we had a great dinner. And tomorrow Chelsea will get to go back with them to Missouri for a week of Christmas break and see her Dad and all her cousins up there. I got three great books for Christmas. A new camera lens from my son Paul. I gave my husband a new solataire game. And a battery operated Helicopter. I got a nightgown, clock, earrings and much more. I was warm today but tomorrow should be chilly.
I cooked a Ham and garlic cheese grits cassarole, macaroni cassorole, sweet potato. etc. etc.

Christmas Shopping Ugh

2009-12-18T18:32:00.000-08:00

Still have to take Chelsie, my granddaughter to Hot Topics clothing store in the Oaks Mall in Gainesville. I think these
are Goth clothes, all black. That's her thing. Jeans, long wild socks, t-shirts, unlaced sneaks. She said when she went to homecoming everyone was shocked to see her in a dress. So, today waiting in line at post office to mail last two gifts
to last two kids. Have not even shopped for groceries for Christmas yet. Maybe I will make garlic cheese grits cassorole. And homemade Mac and Cheese. That is Chelsie's favorite. Listening to Rosie Radio while I update this. And loving that Rosie is having the same pain with a teen girl as I had with my adopted daughter. I knew nothing about girls. I had three boys. The first time she stomped up to her room and slammed her bedroom door, I called my girlfriend (also my daughters best friends Mom And I said, "Liz, what the hell is she doing? ? And Liz says, "Oh thats normal, a regular occurrence with teen girls, slamming doors" " And wait til you get the little notes shoved under your bedroom door. " Noooooooooooo. I guess I was never
a typical teen. I never had any rebellious words with my Mom. My Dad was absent and not emotionally available so I was
my Mom's best friend. I never ran to my bedroom and slammed my door. So I completely could not relate to this

I got my hair cut today. It is too short but because I had radiation for seven weeks and the hair that grew back in along the
back is very curly and dark auburn, she had to feather it short in the back. But it will grow back. And the sun will lighten the new hair. Ok, later.

Tennessee Trip

2009-11-04T06:09:00.000-08:00

Well, I am sitting here in Sevierville Tenn. And wishing I had taken that helicopter ride yesterday over Pigeon Forge because this
morning it is all foggy. We have been traveling through the
Smoky mountains in tennessee.
Visited my godparents in maryville tenn. now heading for hendersonville n.c. the fall color is just about gone but we saw some of it the first few days. later

Tomato Tomato Good

2009-10-02T17:10:00.000-07:00

I have quite a few large tomatoes on my plants. One of the few great things about gardening in Florida. You can have fresh tomatoes for Christmas. Today was grocery shopping and although my husband keeps saying, "you go by yourself". When it comes time for me to leave, he says, "Is is ok if I tag along?" I think he worries something might happen to me. I am not used to this much togetherness. I used to do the shopping alone. And I liked that time to myself. Now I rush and forget things. I just did something that wiped off half of my post. I think it saved to draft. I have tried to post from the drafts but without any success. I planted my brussel sprouts, lettuce and peas.

My husband took this awesome photograph of a red spotted purple admiral. It is beautiful. I had never seen one in my yard. The book says they like birch tree's. I will have to check my river birch for cocoons. I can't remember what else I said. Oh yes, my new favorite show is Drop Dead Diva on the Lifetime channel. And my other favorite is Fringe which is very strange and gory. Ok, this is all. I don't want to lose this again. Later.

Fall veggie garden

2009-09-28T07:51:00.000-07:00

I just got all the weeds out of my Fall garden. I have so far two tomato plants and one has four tomatoes on it. Here in Florida it is easier to have a Fall garden than a spring garden. There is no summer garden here. By July everything is fired by the heat. Today I am going to Ace hardware and get pansies for my dogs grave and black kow manure for my garden and then I will plant my brussel sprouts, lettuce, zuchini, and peas. We are supposed to be in the fifties in the morning by Thursday so our first cool weather. I miss the beach. I need to live on the ocean. I would really like to sell the motorhome and this house and my mothers house and get something across from the ocean. I have even researched in Flagler Beach and The Hammocks, both small beach towns. Well the Hammocks is between Crescent Beach and Beverly Beach. It is not really right on the ocean but the real estate is cheaper. I am just tired of driving an hour to get to the ocean. But...... and a big but. I would have to talk my husband into this idea. First we have to get our big trip out of the way. The one in which we go all along the west coast of the United States and come back through Wyoming, Montana, hit Minnesota, Idaho, and any other state we have never been to. He is already tired of things breaking down in the motor home. I should have let him get the Sun Seeker with the slide outs and the slide out battery tray. That is the one he really wanted. It was the same length just had more extra's. I was afraid of those slide outs because we camped next to a guy whose slide outs got stuck "open". Well, he could not go anywhere until that got fixed. But I think now they have a manual backup. Later. Going to garden now.

Felicity Grandbaby this week

2009-09-23T17:21:00.001-07:00

Traveling Home

2009-09-23T17:18:00.000-07:00

So, we have been in Pensacola for a week and a half babysitting Felicity, our grandbaby while the parents party in Hawaii. Oh, it was pure bliss. Although I am exhausted. Children should have grandbabies before 30 so their parents can enjoy it. At 63 I am too old to chase an 11 month old and she knows it!!! But she is a total joy. Today we are heading home and stopping at every beach on the Gulf coast. Last night it was Destin. Tonight it is Carabelle. I love that name. They call these beaches sugar beach because of the sugerie white sand. Now I must have some peach cobbler. I hope these trips are a sign of the big trip. Getting more space between doctor visits so we can go to Montana and Wyoming and Oregon. Ok. Just a peek at the week.

I want Taco Bell, bean burrito NOW!!

2009-08-27T13:48:00.001-07:00

If I eat one more bowl of cottage cheese and yogurt, one more scrambled fluffy egg, one more portion of mashed potato, I am going to puke.

Next time I go downtown I am ordering Bean Burrito Grande (oh right, they don't have that one anymore) Well, then I am ordering bean burrito extra cheese, no onions. I want the onions but I am pretty sure my throat does not. And I will choke it down with however much water it takes.

I am still missing my big dog. My husband did not cry when she died. But he looked like a heart attack waiting to happen while he and my son were digging her grave.
Origially we would have gotten her cremated for burial. So, I asked my husband to stop digging and let me help. He says, "If I have a heart attack just dump me in here with Girl" And with that we all stopped sobbing and laughed hyterically. It was me, my husband, my son and his wife. Everyone who ever met Girl fell in love with her. We would go camping and because she was such a huge dog I would keep her away from children just in case. But sometimes one would surprise us popping out of a trail and she would lovingly enjoy them petting her. The only thing that got her agitated was the UPS truck. We don't know why. But since she roamed the streets at three or four months we think something happened between her and the UPS driver. She would lay her head on your knee and stare up at you with all her soul in her brown eyes. She used this to her advantage if you were eating a cookie. Heck if you were eating a pretzel. If dogs can come back to us, I hope she finds me.

Ok, its time to start the husband's dinner. It feels weird to fix his dinner when I have to eat soup or a baked potato. I watched this fantastic documentary on MSNBC called In My Mother's Garden. I loved her film so much I added her as a contact on my Facebook. She must think I am a stalker. The film was about her mother's bi-polar illness and hoarding. I need HBO so I can see all these documentaries and not have to find them for free online. Ok, now I really have to start dinner. When I win the lottery I am hiring a cook. And I am also going to go to David Letterman's publicist and get them to let me buy the whole audience orders from Taco Bell, and the crew. Have them delivered during the show and freak Dave's freak. You just know he will say, "Where's my taco bell order?"

Thanks Deeol and Mama D

2009-08-21T09:08:00.000-07:00

For your comments. ( Every sixty seceonds someone somewhere is switching to Temporpedic mattress) That was the commercial that just played. But what my husband repeated was, Every sixty seconds someone somewhere is having sex) Now you know a bit about my husband and where his mind lies. Ha Ha Ha.

I think I am getting my wicked sense of humor back. And it makes me happy. Trying to think what new photograph I can put up; Oh I just might attach strange bedmates, (not what you might think) Now for breakfast I am eating soggy raisin bran, with banana, a cup of coffee and 4oz of carnation drink. But I want waffles or eggs bacon and grits and toast. I don't know how much people know about the salivary glands but without them your appetite, your food choices and your speaking ability sucks big time. I get in to huge arguments with my radiologist. He says, I told you all this, you just have selective hearing. Right. But at least I have my sick sense of humor back. And I don't have to see his face as often. I count those as pluses. If his treatment has given me 15 more years then I love him. If his treatment was totally unnecessary then I would like to stomp on him.

We have to go down to Pensacola and babysit our new grandbaby in Sept because the parents are going to Hawaii for a week. This could be interesting. Also my big dog Girl is failing. Just like real human doctors he cannot get a diagnosis. Ha ha She is on Prednisone but not enough. We want him to let her have the limit, just as much as her body can stand a day. What does it matter as she is dying anyway. It's either that or euthanize her now. But when on 1 tablet a day, she breathes fine. Why not just let her go out on Prednisone. Screw the cost. Excuse my language but when it's my dog I get angry.

I am trying to wean myself off of a liquid diet. I am pretty sure on my next doctor visit I will weight close to 120. (did I ever weight that?) But it's all on my thighs and butt. And my butt looks like a wrinkled elephant butt from the 40 pound weight loss. Losing weight too fast can leave you with permanent elephant butt. If I win the lottery I am getting a butt lift Ok, TMI. Bye all.

Too many chiefs

2009-08-11T09:02:00.000-07:00

I have too many doctors. Now I have to get a stress test. I find that name hysterical. My middle name is stress. Before my surgery last year my EKG was abnormal. But i seem to remember all my EKG's have been like that. It is probably just Brachcardia but now he wants me to get a Thallium stress test. Really Obama has to stop these unnecessary tests. It's just because I have met my deductible. It means dye in my vein. I don't want that again.

I took a fantastic photograph of the male hummingbird yesterday. I am loving my Canon rebel camera. I even started reading the manual. My husband is cleaning up the house. He cleaned off his desk so I had to clean out in front of my closet. My cousin Pam keeps sending me size 8 clothes that she can no longer wear. I wish she would quit because I am running out of room. I might have to open up a clothes closet store. So her boxes were sitting in front of our bedroom closets. I had my grandmothers antique Decon bench over at my mother's house where my daughter is temporarily living ( I hope temporarily) and it is fragile. Well, they let the kids sit on it and now a leg broke. My husband moved it back over here and repaired it. You can't even see it. So, I had to clean a space to put it in front of our bedroom closets.

I am wondering how well I will do on a 15 minute up hill treadmill for this heart test. (since i just had radiation treatment just three months ago) I sure don't want that injection that does the stress on the heart for you. I am beginning to hate all doctors. Ralph says I need to stop talking to the doctors and quit going to them just because they say so. i am beginning to think he is right and I am turning into my mother. I am ready for Fall. I hope September is cooler. This is about it.

Blogger has some issues

2009-07-20T08:10:00.000-07:00

Still Monday and now I have the proper editing tools. I don't know what the heck happened but my page I was posting
on had no icon for adding an image. Let me see what new photographs I have in my files. I don't have as many on
my apple laptop but I do have some.

It's Monday. Again!!!

2009-07-20T08:04:00.000-07:00

Why should i care if it's Monday. I don't work anymore. I think it's a hold over from when I did work. It's grey out and looks like it needs to rain. And the humidity is unbelievable.
Wait, I think I hear rainbdrops. Something has happened to Bloggers. It did not give me my homepage when I logged in. I am back over 110 pounds and trying very hard to drink
four cans of 560 calorie drink per dau. Five would be better as that would put me over 2,000 calories a day. I can't seem to get much other food in while drinking these. I also
ad scoops of ice cream to them twice a day which makes like a very yucky float. The only float I ever liked was root beer floats. Root beer was just made for ice cream.
Tomorrow is my husbands official last day of working, forever. He was trying to explain to me all his cds, 401 k, and such. I said, I have no idea how to handle any of this
so you better be careful while driving. I don't. If anything were to happen to him I would freak out. The only thing I know is how to get my hands on his life insurance. I guess
that would keep me going until I figured out where everything else was. I never worried about these things before. I think women should know all this stuff. It should
be written down some where. In some marriages like my son, his wife knows all that. She does all the saving and finances. He is clueless. I have never balanced a check
book in my life. But I am better at reading gov. lingo. One year I read our IRS forms and found Ralph more than 200 dollars in refunds. He just does not understand lawyer
talk. When my husbands mother passed away she left no life insurance. He had to pay off her debts and did not get paid back until her house sold. I think everyone should
have at least a burial policy and something to pay what they owe. Why should you saddle your children with your debts. My Mother and Father had no life insurance. But they
had plenty of money and no debts.

My 42 wedding anniversary is Wednesday and we are going to see the Harry Potter movie. I will have to sneak in bottled water in my purse as I can't drink soda,
I have a dry mouth, I don't want to miss anything in a coughing fit. I hope I don't get caught with smuggled water.

I am so glad my husband will be home from now on. I have found lately that I like him hanging around the place. He keeps house better than I do. But I can
cook and he can't hardly boil water. He knows how to make a grilled cheese and open a can of soup or beans. That is about it.

Ok, there will be no new photographs for today. It's grey out and no good lighting. Lets see what I can find in my files. Be good.

Almost seven weeks past treatment

2009-06-04T19:28:00.000-07:00

Sorry I have been AWOL but when you come home from seven weeks of radiation you pretty much just take pain meds and sleep a lot and try to eat. I now weigh 110 pounds. Did I ever weigh 110 pounds. Maybe when I was ten. My husband says, "Where did your boobs go too?" I said, they're there down around my waist with those droopy raisin bits." Ok, Ok, TMI TMI. But really, when I get up the nerve I am
going to tell my sweet Dr. Trotti at Moffits (the man with 40 years experience in head and neck cases) that radiation as a cure is medieval torture and should be banned. And as soon as I get discharged I am finding an eastern doctor who uses nasty herbal concoctions and stick hot needles in me. It would be preferable to lying flat on a plastic tray and having a hard plastic mask that looks like a knights
armor shoved down on you and locked into place. Then roll you into the machine. And they will not stop the process unless you are, well, I never found out what would make them stop. But it's over. I got through 35 treatments and never threw up once.
Thank god for xanax. No wonder half the world keeps it in their back pocket. And then that was the first drug they took away from me. I said, "Hey, how about weaning me off of it slowly.? They said, No, its not addictive you don't need it now. I am going to get my family doctors nurse to reinstate it. I sure as hell need it.

I have no appetite. I can only eat comfortably cream of wheat, chicken noodle soup
and soft boiled eggs. Try that for seven weeks and see how fast you feel nauseous
just thinking about it. I just made homemade baked custard like my grandmother used to do, hot water bath and all. I ate one tonight and I felt my grandma put her hand on me. No wonder she gave these to us when we were sick. So, I have added that to my other three meals. I made my first meal for the family while my cousin Pam was here helping to take care of me. I made my homemade apple pie. I tasted it. It tasted like crap. But everyone said it was the best one ever. That's the worst part. Nothing tastes right. But I am just happy to have my coffee tasting like coffee again instead of motoroil. I wish I had Greg's phone number. He was in treatment with me. His started on his tongue and spread. He had chemo first and radiation. And he cheated and saw a chinese doctor on the weekends when he went home. And it helped him get through the treatment. But, it could have diminished
his radiation also. It's a trade off. But really, I have had it with the amerian medical profession. I am going totally easter medicine. Yoga, the whole bit. I have no fat on my entire body, just a lot of wrinkly loose flesh. I went from a size
14 to a 5 in seven weeks. And want to scream at Dr. Trotti but he is so demure
and sweet and nerdy. I just can't do it. But I swear this next checkup he is not
getting out of that room until I get some answers to all my questions. Otherwise
amid all my complaints he just looks in my throat and says, Right on schedule and
then he rushes out the door. So, here is how I look now. I used a ton of makeup
and smiled big. I have no cheeks, none on my butt either. And the latest pic of my grandbaby Felicity. Due to my illness I have only seen her at 1 week old and now she is seven months old. Life can be so cruel.

I'm Still Here

2009-04-11T17:05:00.000-07:00

Hi all. I am at Moffits Cancer Center in Tampa Monday thru Friday and only home on the weekends. Getting Tomo Therapy radiation for seven weeks. I am on week five. And in severe pain that even pain meds does not touch. Just wanted to reach out and let you know. I'm almost done. Hair has thinned out, throat is raw, I gag a lot. If any of you out there smoke, quit. I never smoked or drank much, go figure.
Must be Karma getting even with me. Happy Easter to you all. Its cream of chicken soup for me. And oxycontin and xanax for dessert. Joy.. be good. That updated photo I took of myself in our apartment at the Hope Lodge in Tampa That is where we are staying for seven weeks Later.

Finally Closure

2009-02-10T06:44:00.000-08:00

Well, Moffits Cancer Center in Tampa and Dr. Trotti and his team are taking over my treatment. We will hope we get some money back from the last radiologist. I start
over in Tampa this Wedenesday. Wednesday I will have a new mask made in what they call simulation. Then a week to a week and a half later, I will start six weeks of
treatment. Then six to seven weeks later, I will have a CT check. Then I am done. No more tests. Not sure why that is. But I don't care. And I trust this center as much as I can trust any medical staff at this stage. My whole treatment has gotten so messed up. I should have stayed with Tampa in the beginning and I would be long finished with this by now. I have to blame my radiologist a bit in Gainesville because she tried to push me through at a time when she must have known she was having health problems. She almost managed. But because she was not truthful with me, and it caused her to drop my treatment, I am grateful that I am now under the care of Dr. Trotti. It will be inconvenient because I will be staying in Tampa during the week days. But then, I would have been driving back and forth to Gainesville for the other treatment so it is all relevant. I will probably not be updating this until sometime in April. I have been doing art again. It is a stress release for me to concentrate of something other than this. Here is a pastel I did of my grandson. And a cardinal I photographed.

I have lost trust.

2009-01-26T07:05:00.000-08:00

I have lost all trust in my radiologist here in Gainesville. She lied to me, she lied to my husband. I have faxed all reports to Dr. Trotti in Tampa at Moffits. I am in no hurry now to jump if she says jump. I have jumped through enough hoops
for her. My last Ct scan came back clear and clean a week ago Friday. If she had been honest with me, always told me the truth. Then I would go ahead this week. But she did not. So, she can wait now while I get my trust back and get to the bottom of this.

The Way We Were

2009-01-20T06:31:00.000-08:00

This is an email I sent to a friends mixed race granddaughter in England. She was writing a paper on Barack Obama. You can imagine the excitement she feels being a mixed race child growing up in England and seeing a black man take office in America.
So I call this. The Way we Were. I had six campaign buttons. I have given two to a friend in Canada, one to a friend in Holland, one to a stranger I met going door to door, and two to my friend in England. I have kept the last one, the one we all got at the last campaign meeting after the election. Here is my story of growing up white in America in the 1950's.

Well, I was raised in Miami in the 1950's. We had segregated schools, bathrooms, water fountains. And all blacks lived in one neighborhood off US. 1. Now blacks
live in all neighborhoods, schools are integrated, public restrooms. When I was small I would sit in the back of the bus with black people. I don't know why. My mother
doesn't know why. She said they would put money in my hand because I was a cute little redhead. I just know I felt more welcomed back there.

When I was growing up, the only black person I knew was my Aunt Lois's maid. And she became like one of our family. I still remember her name, Essie May,
and her whole family was like part of our family. Even after my Aunt Lois passed away my Uncle Richard kept Essie May. She is probably gone now.

When I was about 18, I worked in a shopping Mall in a cafeteria. At lunch I would sit in the green-way on a bench. A black college student who was a music major
and worked in the music store would sit and eat next to me. We became friends. He called my house and wanted to go out with me. I told him because of my
father being born in the South, that I could never go on a date with him. Finally his mother called and said, "Why don't you want to go out with my boy? He is a good
boy. " I said, "Because I am afraid my Father would hurt him." Those were the times I lived in.

My children always grew up with black and white friends from grade school up. My sons all had best friends who were black.

I was on Barack Obama's volunteer campaign. I had never done anything political in my life. It was not that he was black. It was his voice and his
vision. I believed him. He seemed to make me believe we could change our path and turn this country around. I never in my life thought that he
would get elected. I never even thought he would get the nomination and beat Hilary Clinton.

When Obama came to Jacksonville for a Rally I went with three friends to hear him talk. I had never done any of this before. And he brought so
many black, asians,white,young and old together. I met a black neighbor through him. He brought so many of us together with one common goal. To
change this country to one we can be proud of. To hear him speak in Jacksonville, Florida was something I will never forget. And to hear the thousands
of people cheering of all races was a very moving experience. He will be one of the best presidents we have ever had.

Candace Pfau

Boy have I been AWOL from this Blog

2009-01-19T11:12:00.000-08:00

Well, I have my apple laptop. I love it. The video cam is awesome. I have already
connected with a friend in Holland on it. The quality is the best I have ever seen.
I had my mask made for my radiation treatment. I took an xanax before the making of the mask because it was very claustrophobic. On Thursday I get some sort of evaluation setup. Then I start radiation. I just hope the six weeks go fast. Would you all like to know what 35 radiation treatments cost if you have no insurance to knock it down. 180,000 dollars. Our cost after insurance is 4 to 5,000 dollars. Is
that insane. It's insane. To get well. What if we had no insurance. I am sick just
thinking about the state of our health care system.

I took some photographs today of these gold colored birds. They don't look like goldfinches. My daughter and grandson have moved here from Missouri. Before this cold weather moved in, I took them to Flagler Beach. The day was so gorgeous. Now
we are having two cold fronts in a row. But I like cold weather. I want to take him
to La Chua trail and show him the alligators. Here is my apple. And here is a link to my beach photographs.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/66013135@N00/3186038925/

And here is my apple laptop.

Apple Apple Apple Apple

2008-12-31T10:10:00.000-08:00

One of my Christmas presents is late. It is on it's way fedex. An apple laptop.
Here it is. http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2332519,00.asp It is so pretty.
My only wish is that I could afford the 15 inch screen but I am happy with this.

Also here is the video of my electronic hasbro doggie. Cute, cute, cute. He is also interactive when not attached to your stereo. Not much else new. Still waiting for the doctor to tell me the results of my second biopsy. Until then, no treatment plan.

Felicity decked out for Christmas

2008-12-24T08:04:00.000-08:00

We have our sister and brother in law for Christmas. I am tired already from cooking. I think it will be take away (as the Brit's say) pizza for dinner tonight and a big Uno card game. My son sent me a new photograph of the grandbaby. She is sooo cute.
I wish I lived closer. I went shopping and decided to buy my husband things I wanted for Christmas. Ha Ha Ha. The best of both worlds. I found the cutest funniest little dog that dances to your cd music. I can't wait to try him out. Maybe I will take a video of him dancing to Pinks cd. Ha. Everyone have a safe and happy Christmas and New Year's Eve.

2008-12-20T07:40:00.000-08:00

This will be my last post until after Christmas. I have finished the mailing and buying for grandkids and children. But only have one thing for my poor husband, socks and slippers. Sigh. He is very hard to buy for. And he does not give me any idea's or hints. So, enjoy Tiny. And here is a new photo of my grandbaby, Felicity. She can smile now.

Still waiting

2008-12-18T05:29:00.001-08:00

Well, we are still waiting for the results from John Hopkins on the second opinion
of my tissue and looking for HPV. It seems the first time, they did not send out
the biopsy and so it is taking longer. Also just had to cancel an appointment for my mask as my husband does not want to let them start anything until we get those results.
Got my hair cut shorter. Didn't help hide the wrinkles any better. But sure is a lot less hair to wash. And easier to maintain.
The weather is so warm for December and I hate it. I think I should live in Maine.
I have always loved Florida but hated the weather. I actually like gloomy days. I loved the weather in London. It is supposed to get a bit cooler by Monday. But the eighties!!! In December. It's not getting me into the Christmas spirit.
My son keeps sending me gigantic photographs of the grandbaby. I keep telling him.
My internet provider is rejecting them. He needs to learn how to re-size things.
Torn between watching Pushing up Daisies last night or The Muppets. I went with the Muppets. This is about all I can think of. I want a Wii for Christmas but every time we look, they are already sold out. I guess we should have bought early. Here, have a squirrel shot. One of my best.

Back Home. Good Trip

2008-12-04T19:16:00.000-08:00

I just want to say. I love Moffitt Cancer Center and Dr. Andy Trotti and his RN Karen. So, I had my Pet scan yesterday and with the help of a "little" sedative my heart did not even race. It was only 40 minutes for the solution to get all through me, and 20 minutes in the scan. I did fine. Dr. Trotti feels that twice a day radiation would be overkill for my less than 2 centimeter cancer. He feels once a day, with twice on Thursday would be best. Plus I will have much less of a sore throat. Also he will send a prescription for calcium phosphate which tends to make the throat feel better when gargled with. He will recommend this to my radiologist in Gainesville. Plus he is having new slides made up of my tumor and sent to John Hopkins because he feels this surely was HPV human papillomavirus induced. Did you know that HPV is in 80 percent of the population and they don't even know it. Because usually it causes no symptoms. Unless something in your body triggers it, low immune system, illness, stress, etc. Then it can turn cells cancerous. It cause way more than just cervical cancer. We have an epidemic of cancer of the tonsils because of this virus. So, I even tried on the mold (it is plastic) that I will have to use during my radiation. So, things are looking better and better. I am sure this is way more than you ever wanted to know. When you start killing cancer with drugs and radiation, it then fights back, and grows faster. That is why the two radiation treatments on the fourth day of each week. I said, It seems like we are concentrating on using drugs when we should turn the cancer on itself, or find a vaccine to do that. He agreed. They are working on that. Lets pray they find a better way to stop this horrible disease.
I would like to add about the Pet scan. I am sure it will show nothing new. But this valuable scan can show advancement of Alzheimer's disease, and diagnosis. It can show the difference between needing a heart transplant and a heart bypass. It can show the difference between malignancy and scar tissue. It is used to see if patients are in remission. It is a very valuable tool in the fight against cancer. It looks in every crevice of your body. It is not just a cancer tool. There were four patients waiting for the test following mine.

Be gone for two or three days

2008-12-01T12:19:00.000-08:00

We are going overnight to Tampa for a second opinion on my diagnosis. They will send the biopsy out to their own lab. Also good to get a second lab diagnosis since I was told it was very weird and not typical. Have to take the actual slides. I wonder if they have to be kept cool. I know nothing about this sort of stuff.

So, will not be posting until Wed. night or Thursday and can post how my trip and appointment went with Dr. Trotti. But really, the results from my PT scan tomorrow will not be known that quickly. So, later.

Monk and a new Cake

2008-11-29T09:53:00.001-08:00

There is a special holiday Monk edition on right now on USA. I just made the most sinful, delicious cake I have ever eaten. And I have had one tiny piece but I just might have to snitch another tiny piece. I don't want to get a sugar overload after I have been so careful to keep
my sugar level. So, maybe I won't have another piece. I can show you a picture of it. And here is the recipe.

Strawberry Cake

1 package white cake mix
1 small package strawberry jello
2 Tablespoons flour
1/2 cup cooking oil
1 cup milk
4 eggs
1/2 cup frozen mushed strawberries

Mix cake mix, jello and flour. Add cooking oil and milk...mix well...Add eggs 1 at a time, mix well. add mushed berries....Use 2 pans--spray with pam --the one with oil and flour,,,,cook 20 minutes at 325 degrees....i think it takes longer to bake, so test with a knife....i thnk it will take at least 30 minutes....

Frosting
Mix 1 box powdered sugar and 1 stick butter...i usually add some of the mushed berries to make the frosting less thick---but sometimes i put too much, so just add 1-2 tablespoons at a time....

I did not write that. I copied it off a blog. And the cake takes way more than thirty minutes. I think I had to cook it for almost 40 minutes. Just kept checking with a toothpick and it kept coming out sticky. But the cake is delicious. So, good.

Not much new. Have another scan to do on Tuesday, the pet scan that looks in your whole body.
And an appointment for my second opinion up at Moffits in Tampa. Then I will start whatever treatment all these experts decide. I seem to not be losing any more weight. I am getting my hair cut because all this long hair is making my face look even thinner. So, I will leave you with a new picture of my grandbaby and a strawberry cake.

Oh, and this story made me cry. http://www.gerrycharlottephelps.com/2008/11/freedom-and-jeff.html?referer=sphere_search

Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2008-11-23T16:59:00.001-08:00

There is no Desperate Housewives on tonight. I don't if the music awards or the special 24 hours took it over. I neeeeed........ some Desperate Housewives right now.
I just got that new movie Wall-E about the little robot. I think I am going to watch it. I just don't feel like watching music awards. And "24" is my husbands show. I swear that show has been gone so long, I thought they canceled. Doesn't it seem like
shows have shorter seasons, and they they are gone so long that you began to forget
the whole story line. They don't seem to do that to this stupid reality shows. The only one I like is Super Nanny and maybe that tear jerker where they build someone a house. Actually my house kind of looks like the kind of house that needs help. ROFL.
And I surely need help. Real help. I am watching this dumb movie on ENT called The Dog Problem. And it has this little kid (he is a man but looks like kid) Giovanni
Ribisi who I first saw on Friends, he played Phoebe's brother Frank Jr. who she had the twins for. He is just cute.
I try and find things on television to totally absorb my mind so I can't think. Thinking right now is bad for me. Thinking leads to worry, worry leads to stress. And things I cannot control right now. Like my ribs are hurting and I immediately think, oh, its cancer. Cancer everywhere. Must stop doing that. So mindless television is good for me. I find old comedy reruns the best. Like Alf and Two and a Half Men, and King Of Queens. Things that made me laugh really hard.
No news to tell. See the dentist on Tuesday to fill a tooth. Then a week from Tuesday I have a Pet scan. I have heavy duty drug to take right before that. In fact, I was looking at the arsenal of drugs I do have. Sadly the Lexpro made me sick to my stomach and short of breath. So, he will have to find something else and for stress I am back to the Ativan. Very addictive. Like I am worried at this point. Ok, back to my movie.

So yesterday

2008-11-19T10:02:00.000-08:00

I met Lucio Gordon an oncologist. Very cute too I might add from Brazil. Talked to his physician assistant who knows even more than he about treatments. Told her I would never need feedings if I had to pour things down my throat. Got more prescriptions for anxiety meds. I could open a pharmacy. Gave six vials of blood. Mine is sluggish and sticky. Debating (not me, they) the Pt scan as my nodes are clear. They think it would probably turn up nothing. Still, my radiologist wants it. Got something to calm me if I do get the Pet scan, or is it Pt scan. Gordon has no real treatment. if it were in my nodes then chemo. There is a new (no statistics) drug, not chemo but with also horrendous side effects. Who cares if it is 2 percent. Called Erbitux.
safety profile.
Serious allergic reactions have occured in 3% of 1373 patients. trouble breathing, wheezing, low blood pressure,itching, loss of consciousness, and or heart attack.
Injury to the heart. occurred in 4 of 208 patients with head and neck cancer treated with radiation and erbitux, as compared to none of 222 patients treated with radiation alone.
Injury to the lungs. lung disease which can cause death
The effectiveness and safety of this regimen has not been established.
Also it makes radiation burn more. (and that is a good thing?)

All this just to add 5 percent to your 85 percent.

I THINK NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, I need an Ativan. Bye Next step, dental work and a bigger opinion at a huge cancer center. And I was told to eat, eat, eat, eat. Eat anything I want. They like radiation patients starting treatment to be fat. How wonderful. Clog my arteries after I worked so hard to improve them.

CT scan results show no more cancer in the neck

2008-11-12T16:40:00.000-08:00

BUT....................

Today the oncologist radiologist Ralph and I met with told us there was nothing more seen on the CT scan.The lymph nodes show nothing. No new places But she wants a Pet or PT scan done to see if there are any hot spots or any cellular activity anywhere in my body. Ralph and I are a bit uneasy of that. She said all the large cancer clinics are doing them now, it is not a standard request from most radiologist. But it gives her a full body base to work from. I didn't ask what would happen if she found anything anywhere else in my body. It cost way more than the CT scan and we don't even know yet if our insurance would cover it. And it takes 60 minutes for the dye to get throughout the body. And then I have to be in the machine a whole 30 minutes without moving. I am dreading it if we go through with it.

The bad news is that for this type and because it might have been there, a few years, due to the one behind my tonsil was not visible. She recommends 4 to 6 weeks of twice a day low dose radiation. So, even after all the good news, it is still more stress. Without treatment even given they see nothing else, the survival rate is five years. With I guess you might call it killing any unseen microscopic cancer cells, you get a lot longer survival rate. I guess because these are located in a bad place. And cancer so often survives at in the teeniest places, and then resurfaces years later. We are drained. But Ralph asked a lot of questions. I cried a lot. She gave me a prescription for ativan for anxiety which I am having a lot of.

Plus I have to get my teeth completey ok'd tomorrow if we do want to go ahead with the radiation treatment. Because you cannot have any gum disease or rotten teeth before the treatment or it can cause complications in the mouth.

So, it was good news, which still sounds a bit bad
Also she is encouraging us to get a second opinion at any large cancer center we pick. She gave us names at Moffit in Tampa, an oncologist there. (these are famous cancer centers who are doing the latest thing but even after we got an evaluation or second opinion there, this still might be the best treatment.) The radiation side effects say dry mouth, loss of taste, sore throat and skin irritation, like a very bad sunburn leaving you with probably a tan like skin. That will take quite a while to fade.

This is all I know for now.
Love, Me

My CT/contrast scan was easy

2008-11-10T16:02:00.000-08:00

Had my CT scan done last Wednesday. Now I have to wait until this Wednesday when I see this radiologist to find out what the scan showed. This not knowing is killing me.
And I am too scared to call. Trying to think positive but ever since hearing the squamous diagnosis, I just have not been feeling well. I have a cough now which I never had before the surgery. Cancer is such a horrible beast. You have to be really strong to fight that fear. I hope I can make the right decisions. My husband is not helping at all. It's like nothing happened. He just goes to work, comes home, and on and on. Doesn't talk about it. Maybe he just can't handle it. I don't know.
My son sent me a new photo of the grandbaby. So, I will leave you with that picture.
She is so adorable. I think I'm in love.

Some Bad News

2008-11-06T06:31:00.000-08:00

Well, my biopsy of the growths removed from my throat came back Squamous cancer. So, today I am getting a CT/contrast scan to see if there are any more. Or if my lymph nodes were involved. Life can be unfair sometimes. But there is still joy. Like a new grandbaby. And she is adorable. So, we have to take the good with the bad.
Depending on what the scan says, I might try and get a referral to a cancer center in Houston, Tx. I will try and keep this place updated. Later.